work.

Last night at work, I was assisting a lady with dementia. Usually she's lucid enough to have a conversation, so I thought I'd strike one up about her past career as a nurse.

She said she worked just around the corner - she isn't even from my town - and was going to tell me how much she loved it when... she started to ramble about Christmas oranges.

I think of all the people I've met, all the people I will meet, and I can't help but think that I'll be overflowing with stories by the time I'm a senior. But sometimes, life is cruel and takes away those memories. I can't image what it would be like to have helped so many people in their sickest times, yet not being able to remember a single moment.

D.

merry christmas!

Cheers for the good 'ol holiday season: eating too much, staying up too late, giving gifts, opening presents, and so on. My favorite time of year!

But now it's the 28th and there is not one Christmas song left on the radio, the malls are packed beyond belief, and I even saw some Valentines Day merchandise put on the shelves already... slow down, people! Christmas comes ONCE A YEAR. I wish we could make it last longer.

I got a pile of books for Christmas, so I'm happily reading through those. But when I'm not reading, I'm working - which seems to be taking up too much of my time lately. Maybe more on that later...

I finally finished Shantaram, which was a 900+ pg whopper. It's an epic story about a man who escapes from an Australian prison and winds up in India. The book is about the relationships he makes - with friends and enemies - and how he reinvents himself as an Indian. I'm happy to be finished with it - it took SO long to get finished, seeing how school dominated all my free time. But it was well-worth the perseverance! The ending was marvelous.

Now I'm on to the Christmas book collection: I've started to read 'Where There is Love, There is God', by Mother Theresa, which is very moving. I'm sure I'll find countless gems of wisdom in her story.

Besides the reading, I'm just soaking up the relaxing time at home. School begins again in about a week, and before I know it I'll be wishing for extra reading time. I'm definitely going to enjoy these last few days of peace before the craziness begins again!

D.

3 down, 2 to go!

Almost through my finals! So far, so good. No breakdowns, all-nighters, or hysterics. Just a lot of coffee and a pack of Swedish Berries! I'm in the home-stretch now.

Physiology was a good as it could be: the prof gave us a good study guideline, but there are always those "surprise" questions that make you kick yourself for not reading that one chapter over again.

Microbiology: Girls were crying afterwards. Enough said!

Communication: Despite the content seeming basic enough, it's a struggle to get a good mark! I'm sure the teacher just refuses to give out A's.... But the final went really well, so fingers crossed! Perhaps the holidays will make her feel generous.

I think I must be in zombie-studying mode. Wake. Eat. Study. Eat. Study. Sleep. Repeat. While I was writing my final this morning, I looked down and realized that my shirt was on backwards. And that I downed a huge glass of water and 2 coffees before sitting down, sans bathroom break. I suppose all basic functions go out the window during final time!

There is a day off before my next two finals, so only one more crammed studying day until I am officially in second year! WAHOOO!

Cheers,

D.

break time!

I am taking a break from my day of studying to write a much-needed post... I've been neglecting this blog! But my first final tomorrow! I'm feeling OK about it, and with a few more hours this evening, I should be all set!

Earlier this week, I was a lucky-duck and went to go see The Canadian Tenors with the famjam. HOKEY DINAH, they were INCREDIBLE! Not only where their faces beautiful (ahem, Clifton Murray), but their voices were just superb. They sang along with the ESO, which just made it an incredible experience. Talk about a music overload! I don't think they have the fan-base they deserve - I was one of the youngest ones there! BUT, I guess that was in my favor because look at this smile:

That is Clifton Murray and myself. He is the best-looking guy I have ever met! I am not one to scream over pop-stars and wait in lines for autographs/pictures, but I did on Monday night... I'd say he was certainly worth it!

ANYWAYS. I need to keep my head out of the clouds and focus on studying!! Oh dear.

D.

december!

As I am sure many of you have said this morning, 'It's December already?!', I'll say it again: it's December already!! Where on earth did this semester go??

All my classes end this week and finals begin next Thursday. Oh man oh man - one week to cram everything in! Thankfully Micro is interesting - gangrene and flesh-eating diseases are certainly memorable. Physiology has been swell since the beginning, and well, as for the rest, we'll see what happens!!

Then year 1 will be done. Finito! Second year will certainly be exciting: first semester is all class/theory. My classes will include Pathophysiology and Pharmacology, along with two labs where we learn to catheterize and administer needles. I know, what great life skills! Ha, but I am so excited.

Then second semester is ALL CLINICAL! It's divided into three 5-week rotations: adult medical/surgical, pediatric medical/surgical, and mental health. It seems a little daunting right now, but I know it will be so so good to put our learned skills into practice. Can't wait!

But for now, I must concentrate on these finals. Only two weeks of year 1 left! Yahooo!

D.

the end is near!

I handed my last assignment for year 1 yesterday - my last assignment!! Holy cow. An entire year almost in the books.

I have been feeling so so blessed lately. Through clinical and working at DP, I have realized that nursing is the right path for me. Although nursing may not be where I stay forever, I do believe it's the right direction. I feel like I can finally just pause and take a deep breath because I want to embrace every moment. I'm beginning to discover what makes a 'good' nurse, and it certainly isn't getting A+ in every subject. I need to remember this because far too often I get caught up in achieving the perfect grade and forget that nursing is a 'people' driven profession, not 'academic' driven profession. Don't get me wrong - getting good grades in nursing is very important, however I am beginning to see that nursing is a lot more than an A+ in Microbiology.

I find that Nursing has also influenced me tremendously as person. When I applied for Nursing, I was hoping to just deal with the blood and guts of the job, overlooking the 'people' aspect of it entirely. But I was mistaken - the entire curriculum is based on patient-centered care: how they feel, how they respond, how they interact within their environment.... 100% focused on patient-nurse relationship. That perspective, combined with my experiences, has really changed how I see people and view life.

It's interesting now, because after clinical on Monday, my desire to become a doctor has shifted. I was paired with the charge nurse and I tagged along with him as he went with the physicians for patient rounds. And you know what? The NURSES were at the head of patient care: they knew all the trivial details about their client and what needed to be done. The NURSES advocated for a change in medications, a change in diet, etc. The NURSES told the doctors what should be done. I was just astounded: after a zillion years in medical school, the doctors relied almost entirely on the nurses to make their judgement calls. And after all that, all the doctors did was scribble an order for insulin then went on their way. I'm not too sure all those years in school is worth it to have the power to prescribe medication.

The charge nurse I was with was incredible - he was SO efficient that I felt incompetent even just walking with him. His position is definitely something I'd like to strive for in the future. He is the 'mediator' between the doctor and patient, and also the coordinator of every patient's care and interactions with the various team members: physical therapists, occupational therapists, dietitians, etc. It's hard to understand how entirely massive his responsibilities are! But he does is job very well. It certainly gave me a greater understanding and appreciation for nurses!

So anyways, I'm just truckin' onwards to the end of year 1. Finals are in less than 3 weeks, so I've begun the long-haul of studying. But it's still great - my roommates are fabulous and Timmy's always has coffee cheap and ready to drink. So with those two things, I should be just fine.

Have a great Wednesday!

D.

christmas time.

Christmas is the most beautiful time of year.

Singers croon out the christmas carols, lights are strung, snow is falling.

Nat King Cole. Elvis. Canadian Tenors. Tony Bennett. Diana Krall.

Every year I feel so much joy just at the thought of the season.

It may even be a bit much. But that's OK: I wait 11 months for my favorite season. I think I deserve to go a little overboard.

What a difference a year makes. This time, last year, I was serving latte's and folding jeans, just hoping, praying, that I would get into Nursing and back to school. Celebrating the season was overshadowed with the uncertainty of school. Now, a year ahead, I'm finishing up my first year and have been blessed in more ways than I can count.

Although, I must say that getting accepted into Nursing on Christmas Eve was the sweetest thing ever.

D.

work!

Almost every weekend I work at shift at DP, and there is always something to make me laugh.

During my evening shift last night, I was closing the blinds in the multi-purpose room where activities are held. There was a pile of papers on the table, so I thumbed through them to see what events where happening. On a Healthy You! paper, healthy eating tips for seniors were listed, along an explanation of food groups. But written on the bottom of the page, in an old-fashioned handwriting, was: "The average man's thumb is the size of his penis." UM, WHAT?! I just burst into laughter.

Have a good Sunday!

home sweet home!

There's nothing better than coming home after a week of school.

It's so nice just to get away, relax, enjoy home-cooked food. Delish!

I still have one midterm left... one more test. Good grief, they are still dragging on! Then, after a couple weeks, finals! I'm already beginning to pull out my hair. Haha, no, not really - I just know that it will be crunch time before I know it and it's best to be ready for it. As ready as possible, that is.

So far there has been no snow here - I find this really awful. It's awkward to play Christmas tunes and sip Christmas lattes without the fluffy white stuff. The highs have been in the plus 5 range all week. Please, go away sunshine!

D.

mistakes.

Clinical was an enlightening experience today. I learned that regardless of how much education a nurse has, they can still make stupid judgement calls.

A patient was not given her proper medication during breakfast. My nurse and I figured an error had been made when the patient was acting way out of character an hour later. Eventually my nurse tracked down the source of error - the patient's primary nurse - and met with the charge nurse who was then required to call the doctor.

However, logic apparently does not accompany 4-year degrees. The charge nurse told us she was intimidated by the doctor and didn't want to call him - so she didn't. Instead, she reasoned that the medication would wear off eventually and that since death wasn't a likely outcome, the patient should just be left as is.

Even with my limited knowledge of medications, it was apparent to me that a simple order from the doctor could have fixed this mistake. A simple 5 minute phone call would have drastically improved the current condition of the patient, who is already suffering from a stroke and a mental disability. I know that the mess-up wasn't life threatening, however it was detrimental enough to cause a serious shift in personality. In my mind, that is serious.

However, being a first year nursing-student makes it tough to call people out on their mistakes. Our role in the hospital is to simply observe and help with basic tasks as needed. It's a tad frightening that our 'role models' pull stunts like this, especially when we are supposed to be learning from them.

D.

happier!

Since my last post, I am feeling much happier! I was definitely feeling the stress for a bit there. Glad that's improved :)

One midterm down today - 2 more to go! It feels as if I have been writing midterms since September! Most of my classes have two midterms, so just as round 1 finishes, round 2 begins! Thankfully, the hardest one is finally over. Microbiology is a bruiser of a class. The material isn't necessarily hard, it's just the professor who is crazy - her smarts are off the charts. The tests are unbelievable. Even with crazy amounts of studying I find myself bewildered at least once while writing it.

Clinical on Monday was great! I love talking with the patients, learning about their health, and trying to get in on cool procedures. Just watching the whole 'health care' process between professionals is nuts - there are so many people working together to rehabilitate these folks, it's great.

I suppose the most interesting thing I saw that day was the infected stump of an amputee, and skin rot from a fungal infection. You can only guess where THAT rot was... Just remember, clean under your breasts!!!!

On another note, Kat and I broke our toilet. It no longer flushes which is just fabulous. So for now we have to run across the apartment and quickly sit on the other one. It's just weird! Hopefully maintenance come soon. Kat suggested that I just run over the the hospital and grab some bed pans. Ha, yeahhhhh right.

Have a good Tuesday night!

D.

studystudystudy.

Another week gone, and no posts. Oops!

This past week was utterly insane. My stress levels were on high all week, and still are. From classes, to friends, work, and planning for the future...It all came on in one big heap.

I have been bogged with studying: I have two killer midterms this week - Microbiology and Physiology II. Both are excessively time-consuming, and require stupid amounts of flash cards and highlighters.

Then I have a Clinical reflection, Lab paper, Psychology midterm, Communication presentation, and Nursing assignment all due within two weeks. So just as two hectic weeks come to a close, two more begin.

Then there's my social life. SHESH. One of my friends is in an arranged marriage, and another passed out at a party. And I haven't seen my high school friends in 4 weeks. I also must mention that Halloween brought a host of interesting characters to residence, and really amped up the fact I am not part of the 'partying' lifestyle.

So will all of this in mind - and so much more - I'm just focusing on doing the best I can, one step at a time. Thankfully, I brought back a bunch of Mom's cookies to get me through. Let's hope they help!

D.

snow!

Today it snowed! I love love love it. I think I need to live in a place that is cold all the time. Like 10 degrees and below. Right now, I'm listening to some gold old Christmas tunes with a cup of tea, enjoying the snowfall. Joy!

Today was yet another clinical day! All day I was at the hospital, again shadowing another nurse throughout her routine. My nurse today was great - she just went over everything from last day and emphasized all the key points during her care.

I like to think I'm somewhat alert at 7am, however I don't think I was this morning. One of the first things I did today was shower a patient. So I got all the towels laid out, let the water run, and put my shower gown on. The whole thing went well, and afterwards I led her back to her room. From there, my nurse and I went on to our other patients, did vital signs, talked with various therapists, organized charts, etc. It wasn't until 45 minutes AFTER my previous shower that I realized I STILL had the shower gown on! So I was walking around my unit without a clue in the world that I wearing it. I probably looked like I was wearing a massive spill-guard. Lovely.

But besides that minor incident, everything went smoothly. Having clinical on Monday makes the week go by so quickly! And this upcoming month will be absolutely nuts: midterms - which are never ending, assignments, presentations, reflections, etc, etc... I don't think the list will be smaller anytime soon!

D.

THOSE body parts.

Yesterday, in lab, we learned how to clean body parts... yes, THOSE body parts...

It was wonderfully awkward, to say the least. We started off the class by watching a 'how-to' video that used real actors. I hope they paid those people good money because nothing, not a thing, was left to the imagination. Then, after viewing those lovely educational videos, the instructors let us practice our new-learned skills on the dummies in class.

Our class isn't a typical classroom - it's a modified multi-bed 'hospital' room with about 10 beds along the edges with table and chairs in the middle. So the idea is for us to learn, then go do.

The dummies, as high-tech as they are, have a few issues. First, not everything is realistic. For example, the mouth doesn't close and the fingers don't flex (but it can vomit!). And secondly, the mannequins are gender-neutral. This means that certain 'parts' are removable and exchangeable. This caused the biggest problem.

At one station, we had to turn our dummy /patient to a side-lying position. As my group and I turned it over, we must have jarred him (or it?) too hard cause the 'he-part' fell right off, onto the floor. It fell through the incontinence brief and gown, clattered to the ground and rolled under the next bed.

At another bed, the same thing happened! We lifted up the gown of our patient and viola! Nothing there - just a wide gaping hole where something gender-specific should have been. We searched for this missing body part - it's sorta necessary to know if you are dealing with a he or she. After a few minutes, we found it under the stretcher. It was a he. It was hilarious trying to reattach it...

Yesterday was a good day.

D.

The 'nursey-ness' continues!

Yesterday my first FULL shift at the hospital. Since we haven't learned much past washing our hands and making beds, we were assigned to just 'shadow' our nurses as they went about their duties.

At 0650 we were told to meet in the report room and be ready to go. So, being the hopeless keener that I am, I was outside the room by 0640. But there were no students, and no instructor!

0645: instructor shows up and waits with me until the other arrive.

0650: 4 (out of 8) arrive.

07-freakin-00: the rest arrive.

So here we are, on the very FIRST day we work with the nurses, walking in LATE to the report room, interrupting the shift-change report, shuffling through the seated nurses, trying not to trip while we attempt to squeeze like sardines into this teeny-tiny room. Did I mention they were LATE which made everyone else - including me - LATE? I felt like I was walking into that room with a giant blinking L on my forehead. I suppose it could have stood for loser too. At that point, I didn't really care. Did I mention how much I hate being late???????

So anyways, after that minor frustration, we got paired up with our buddy nurses and sent out for the day. But seeing how something is always awry on the first day, the nurse I was supposed to shadow called in sick. However, my instructor volunteered her services in the mean time. So, her and I became a team and attempted do our rounds without a clue in the world of what to do.

Tangent: although she is a wonderful, caring person and always means well, my instructor is a little 'funny'. For example, when she was quizzing our clinical group about the warning signs of a stroke, I answered her question. I was standing on her right side, yet she looked to her left at another student and said, 'Yes Carmen, you are correct!!' Like, WHAT THE HECK?! I wasn't even over there. Seriously? Perhaps she has been working for too long.

So anyways, we set off to do our rounds and it turned out to be pretty great: she let me do a lot of hands-on work that we hadn't covered in lab yet. She knew of my previous experience at DP so she gave lots of opportunity to do care. She did vital signs, walked me through the steps, and explained the proper procedures even though that lab doesn't come for another few weeks. There were several casts, braces, etc. to apply, so she let me figure those out too. Despite the fact that we didn't know any of the patients, we managed to get everyone up and properly cared for in time for breakfast.

When the nurse who was called-in showed up, I was then her 'shadow' for the remainder of the day, which turned out to be SO SO great! She was still a graduate nurse, meaning that she had just written her RN exam but hadn't received her final mark yet. So she was able to show me how everything is done according to 'best practice' and not according to shortcuts. Even during our down time, she walked through absolutely everything on the ward: where to find this, where to find that, what happens with this, etc and etc. It was like being paired with a walking dictionary! So great. She also sat down with me and went over the client charts, which are a tad overwhelming if they are just plunked on your lap without direction. She went through literally every division and every paper, explaining it's relevance to the big picture. That was probably the most helpful - the amount of papers shoved into those binders is incredible!

It's too bad she won't be back next Monday, cause she really knew her stuff. But it was still a terrific day. Mondays are now officially my favorite.

D.

thursday night.

Bible Study time!

ADL lab.

ADL stands for Activities of Daily Living, which includes things like dressing, bathing, hygiene, feeding, etc. For patients, it means that a nurse (or nursing student!) will be helping you along with all these things. But in lab, where we practice on each other, it translates into 'gong-show'.

In lab this morning, we had to practice our bed-bath and teeth-brushing skills. So in partners, while one of us flopped on the bed and pretended to be sick, the other had to fill up a basin with water and 'wash' their patient. We only cleaned arms and legs, but still - it was quite the site. But even funnier was brushing each other's teeth. That was a skill that DP did not prepare me for. I felt bad for my partner - I'm pretty sure I hit the back of her mouth 5 times. Plus, it didn't occur to me that she may need to spit until AFTER her tooth-paste drool was in her lap. I don't think I'd make a very good dental hygienist.

The lab next week deals with feeding - we are supposed to bring yogurt/pudding to class to practice with. I'm really hoping they supply bibs.

D.

You know those moments,

where you just feel overwhelmed and ALL your issues must be solved at once? Yup. Those lovely moments. I had one this evening. And I did what I always have: I called my mom.

But I'm sure that I'm getting too old to do that. I'm an adult now, not living at home anymore. I'm learning how to be a responsible caregiver and I'm expected to handle 'overwhelming' situations. Shouldn't I just be able to take a deep breath, relax, and sort my thoughts through?

Apparently I can't. After numbering off my outrageous worries, shedding a few tears, and getting a reality-check from my mother, I felt much better. A bit embarrassed, but better.

According to my her, I'm an adult now - surprise, surprise! But at times, or most the time, I certainly don't feel like it.

Often I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of being a teenager and an adult - it's like that annoying time of being a 'tween': stuck between a child and teenager. Can I still read Harry Potter? Should I keep my stuffed bear on my bed? Is eating an entire pie childlike? (I doubt it... just fattening. :) )But how much responsibility should I take on? Should I be living at home? Should I be in an apartment of my own? Should I be looking for a hubby to settle down with? (oh dear, I certainly hope not...)

Regardless of my worries, at the end of the day, I am an adult. So I really need to learn how to behave like one... I just hope there isn't an age-limit to keeping your mom on speed dial. Just in case.

Love, D.

I'm thankful for...

On a happier note, I thought I'd share some things I'm thankful for this season:

• number one: family! always and always.
• my friends - the ones from high school, the ones from camp, the ones in my class, the ones I live with and the ones in the future.
• God, and how His plans fall into place just in time.
• being able to get an education.
• fall colors, especially the reds and yellows from the falling leaves and trees.
• the cooler weather, because now I can wear a sweater, scarf, & drink coffee all at the same time!!
• the smell of my house : candles and baking.
• my puppy.
• pie. Oh goodness me - do I need to explain?
• PSL's @ Starbucks. PTL!
• booksbooksbooks.
• our neighbors who made us chili!

What are you thankful for this year?

Happy Thanksgiving!

D.

thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is a beautiful time of year: the leaves are falling, the air is cool, and the food is good. I completely remember this exact time last year. I had flown back home for the long weekend and changed my mind about school. It was a huge huge decision, with a lot of ups & downs - not just emotionally, but logistically as well. But somehow, with a lot of heavenly help, I made it back home and switched universities.

I am so thankful for that switch! My family is so precious to me, and I wasn't about to let 4 years go by without being close enough to come by for a visit.

(I apologize in advance - the rest is not a very cheery post for this holiday, but this has been weighing heavily on my heart. )

But for a few, Thanksgiving has taken on a different meaning. A married couple in my church gave birth to a baby with serious birth complications this week. It was announced this morning that their little baby is surviving only on life support, and that a decision about his life must be made. By the context of the announcement, either today or tomorrow the parents will be seeing him for the last time. Hearing about this baby was tough - but seeing the face of the mum, as she went up to the front for prayer, broke my heart. Never before have I seen someone in so much pain and anguish. I almost wished I hadn't looked because I won't be able to forget it.

I'm at a loss for words now... I can't even imagine what they will be going through in the days to come. I suppose that only endless prayer and faith will be their guidance over these next few weeks.

So with this in mind, I'm even more thankful for my family and the blessings of health and vitality we've been given. I don't know where I'd be without them.

D.

being sikh.

I have become friends with a rather interesting girl. We have become good study partners and time-wasting buddies. Once or twice a week we go for a Tim's run then hunker down in the library for a serious study session. We are also lab partners! So over the past few weeks, we've gotten to know each other.

She is interesting because she wears a turban. Until today, we had never talked about our differences. I though it might be rude if I leaned over in the middle of Micro and whispered, "Excuse me friend, but why is there a turban on your head?" So I waited until time came. And today it was! The talk of Thanksgiving brought us to discuss observed holidays, backgrounds, and religious beliefs. She told me she is Punjab, and a Sikh. Then the conversation started! We talked about her native language (Punjab), her beliefs as a Sikh, and her 'Bible' - a name I don't have a hope of pronouncing!! And I'm amazed at how we became friends despite the obvious differences between us. She is required to wear her turban at all times, keeping her hair up and out of sight. This practice goes with the '5 K's' of Sikhism: keeping uncut hair, carrying a small comb, also carrying a small dagger, wearing an iron bracelet around the wrist, and wearing a special undergarment. I've only seen noticed her tied-up hair, comb, and iron bracelet... if she actually carries her kirpan (dagger), I'd love to see where she hides it!

I did some Googling on the significance of her turban. From what I understand, it's worn to set a Sikh apart from other people. The idea is to get noticed! I guess it's important to be able to identify a Sikh from other people - to stand out for what you believe in. There are other factors for the turban, such as preventing temptation/keeping oneself pure, etc., but I must admit - she must be very confident in her faith because I know she is not oblivious to the looks she gets.

Besides our differences, Aman and I get along so so well. I know we'll have lots more to talk about in the future. And plus, I'm really hoping she eats curry... wouldn't that be sweet?!

Have a goodnight,

D.

talking.

I really do try to post more than once a week. Really, I do try. I think to myself "Ok, after this flash card set I'll post something..." then it's "Before I go to bed I'll post something... ". And before you know it, a week has past gone! But you know what that means - school is busy!

But it is going so so good! I've already tackled two big midterms: Physiology II and Microbiology. No marks back yet, but maybe tomorrow? Fingers crossed.

And clinical: yesterday I did my patient interview! I think it went well. I was a little jittery, but nothing compared to my nursing-student-buddy. Unfortunately, we were paired up for our patient interviews. I am not a very good group person, especially when I know the mark/credit/etc I worked for gets shared around. Selfish, I know, but I have been in oodles of situations where I've been ripped off. Yesterday wasn't much of an improvement. My partner was white as sheet and nauseous before her interview. I was supposed to just sit and listen to her talk with her patient who was a lovely old lady - grandmas are so sweet! - but my partner had the hardest time thinking of things to say. At one point, mid-interview, she turned me to and asked: 'What should I ask now?' I had to feed her questions - actually spell out the question, word for word. What bugged me the most was that her patient was right there, listening, completely observant - talking 'around' a patient is so disrespectful, especially when they are fully competent!! Good grief. By the end of it, I closed the interview for her and got us out of there. I suppose there is a first time for everyone, but now I can see why we have Communication class and are forced to learn about talking to people.

But anyways, next Monday's clinical should be FABULOUS: we are getting paired with a RN/LPN for the day and are basically their shadow. I can't wait! I think I may be a good shadow - possibly annoying - but good. I may become one of those students who asks questions non-stop... I am just so excited! And it sure beats learning out of a text book.

That's all for now. Cheers!

D.

today I met a patient.

Exciting, right? Sometimes the whole 'slow introduction to the hospital' thing seems stupidly slow. For instance, I've had a total of 10 in-hospital clinical hours and only 10 minutes of all those hours have been spent with an actual real human being. The rest? Spent talking about how to talk to our patients. I guess this is a big issue??

We also spent a fair bit of time going over our client's chart. And holy hannah, those are huge charts. At DP we have one big binder per floor. At the Glen, there's one big binder per patient. And in it you got your admitting papers, allergy papers, care papers, discharge papers, med papers, neuropsych papers, and all other types of papers!! It's all crammed into one binder. And it's true what they say - Doctors really do have the messiest writing. I spent 5 minutes trying to read a line of scrawl just to realize it said: "nothing significant noted in right arm". Gee, thanks Doc.

We met our patient who we'd be dealing with individually next Monday, and then every Monday afterwards. I have the fortune of being paired with a lovely patient, well on their way through rehabilitation. It's a little odd though, because she is the exact age as my mom and has children my age. I am in a position to help her, and semi-responsible for her care, yet the age difference put us at a difficult spot. She used to being completely independent and responsible for kids my age - not the other way around! So we'll see where these next few weeks take us - I hope a bond will develop!

D.

I am beginning to feel 'nurse' like. Sorta.

I had clinical on Monday!! And I survived! It was a really enjoyable day - although it was just orientation, I think the entire group felt pretty spiffy walking around in our scrubs and white shoes.

But we won't be feeling spiffy for long - although we looked good, our orientation was so randomly led that all 8 of us will be wandering around without a clue of where to go when next Monday rolls around. I can't tell you which floor the locker room is on, or which floor my unit is on. Our instructor is semi-retired, so I think she has taken a rather relaxed approach to life: as long we get where we need to be, within the hour, all is well. Which is fine, but perhaps not ideal when you are teaching. But that could just be my opinion.

Next Monday we are recording the 'health history' of our patients - learning more about them, their health, and what may have influenced their stroke. I'm looking forward to that because DP has taught me about how to ask the right questions. I'm not excellent at it, by any means, but I think I have gotten the gist of it which will certainly help next week.

Last semester I spent the majority of my time on Anatomy and Physiology. Anatomy was simple, Physiology was tough. Now, it has flipped: Physiology II has become the 'easy' class and Microbiology has taken the word 'tough' to an entirely new dimension. Thanks to Micro, I can no longer fill up my bottle of water from a fountain, or cut the moldy piece off a brick of cheese and leave the rest for later. I can no longer touch the door handles on public washrooms either - not that I liked to do that before. So on top of endless studying and memorize retardedly long names of bacteria, I am now afraid to touch anything shared by the public. Thanks, micro.

Kat and I are still getting along really well, which is surprising. I was quite anxious about living with her in the weeks leading up to move-in. We are polar-opposites of each other: from appearance to attitude, values, you name it. She eats chili for breakfast and cereal for dinner, puts on fake eyelashes and listens to electronica/rock. I love cereal for breakfast and normal 'dinner' food for dinner. I like jazz. And I don't wear fake eyelashes. But yet we have grown close to one another. Despite our differences, some of them more significant than others, we are having a blast living together.

Have a good Thursday!

D.

CLINICAL!

Clinical today, this morning, in a few hours. EEEEEEEEEKKK!

end of life.

Today at work a resident who I've come to really appreciate looked me in the eyes and told me he just wanted to drift away, close his eyes and fall into a deep, restful, and everlasting sleep.

In the moments where I am faced with life at one of its most heart-wrenching points, I find myself reaching to God for guidance. How can I understand the end of life at this time of my life? I'm young - all my generation does is look forward, plan ahead, think about the future, and worry being successful. But the elderly can think differently. Oldies have this ability to look back, reminisce, story-tell, and then hope for a quiet and peaceful passing to end their time.

I can't get my mind around life just ending. Sometimes, it takes everything I have to not cry when the people I've come to love tell me that it's time for them to go.

D.

friday!

Whoa, Friday already! I must say - this has been the best week of school yet. It feels as if so many things are coming together. I was actually so socially busy that I had to postpone some plans until next week. Unreal, right? Between Kat, my other roomie, a friend down the hall, study-buddies from class, a bible-study group (!!), and friends from high school, I no longer have enough time to fit all these visiting/social hours into my week. Which is just... awesome!! This is how it is supposed to be.

Clinical starts on monday - I'm not too nervous. However, the idea of taking the bus is making me really start to sweat. But I think I got that under control: another guy in my clinical and I are meeting before the bus comes, so hopefully that works out and I can just follow him to the hospital. I know that riding the bus seems to trivial, but to me it is overwhelming : which bus do I take? when does it come? where do I sit? why do some people stand? what if I'm standing and fall over onto someone? (which will likely happen!) what if I miss my stop? what if the bus just doesn't show up? and goodness, what about the bus etiquette? do I talk to people? do I stare at the floor and pretend to not notice them? Gaaaaah - this is what runs through my mind every second. I think I may go crazy before I even get to the hospital!

But for now, it is the weekend. Time to enjoy and relax! Have a good one.

D.

the coolest thing just happened.

Tonight I went out to a Beer & Wings shindig at a pub with my floor. I was feeling pretty apprehensive about going, but I stayed committed - I have a really good habit of bailing out last second. But I went anyways. I ran into my roommate and her friend as well, so I joined them with my friend and we all sat together. The evening turned out to be really fun and I got to know my other roommate better.

And it turns out that my roommate is a Christian. Which is a definite blessing because I had been hoping, praying, for some sort of a Christian influence this year and VIOLA! My roommate and I were placed together. After chatting more back at our room, she told me that she had been praying all summer specifically for a Christian roommate. We kinda just stood in awe at how our lives came together.

This is the most amazing, and direct/instantaneous way I've seen God work in my life. I asked for a Christian influence this year and boom - here's a God loving roommate. And by simply going to an event I almost backed out of, I started a potentially-great friendship. Imagine if I hadn't gone?

It's situations like these that make me just stop and marvel at how God has it all figured out. Despite my own perception of life, despite how hard I may think school is or how hard it is to build strong friendships, He has it all under control and in His good will. So tonight I'm extra thankful for His timing and planning, cause I know for sure that I couldn't do life without Him.

D.

curried chicken & clinical.

I think I may deserve an award. For lunch, I successfully made myself curried chicken over brown rice!! I know - curry chicken! Although I didn't make the curry and used pre-cooked chicken, this is an achievement worthy of becoming holiday because everyone knows the extent of my culinary skills. (But because my curry came from a can, I must admit that crazy-Mona's curry was better... but hey, she was Indian - she had that advantage.) Perhaps I am not a lost-cause in the kitchen after all!

Earlier this morning I met with my clinical group and instructor, which went really well. I have quite the collection of folks in my group - the 8 of us represent multiculturalism to a 'T": Canadian, American, Ethiopian, Chinese, Kenyan, and First Nations. Everyone seemed to get off the a great start, so I think this semester will be a lot fun. We get buddied up with someone else, then unleashed by ourselves to care for someone. Oh boy, I can only imagine what will happen 'sans' instructor. But anyways, next Monday is day 1 at the hospital so that leaves me 7 days to prepare: get proper scrubs, find my stethoscope, educate myself about strokes, and figure out the bus system. AHHH!

But besides that, I'm really enjoying school. I know it's only the second week of classes, but my routine feels more 'routine' than last year already. It's good to be back!

D.

week 1.

So all of a sudden it's Sunday and I'm sitting back in my room, trying to figure out where the first week of school went! I'll try to recap a bit.

I have successfully made it to each class! Which is super, considering several, if not many students showed up either an hour late or not at all to at least one class this week.

The professor for my Nursing lecture wrote her dissertation on dementia in seniors - turns out, she has a mad passion for the oldies!! I think that is so so so great. They way she teaches is centered around older-adult care as well. When she references seniors and how to appropriately care for them, I actually understand what she means from a 'I've been there! I've done that!' perspective. Sweet? I think so.

The other part of my Nursing class is the clinical segment - starting next week, I'll actually be in the hospital! My group is in the Stroke Unit. I really have no idea what to expect - seniors? adults? both? functioning? nonfunctioning? I have a mind-boggling amount to learn. Tomorrow is our info session where we figure out all the details. I really hope I don't mess up too badly when clinical begins. Like getting lost, going to the wrong hospital, taking the wrong bus, missing the start time, making a doctor mad, etc and etc. But what's the use in worrying now (I keep telling myself this!!) - there's nothing I can do but wait until next Monday. Then I can worry. :)

But I guess that's all for now - except that the leaves are turning colors and I love love love this time of year. Cheers!

D.

the night before school

Can you believe it?? Classes start tomorrow!! Here goes semester two! I think I'm ready... I hope I'm ready! I've figured out my binders, pencil case, & textbooks, have my coffee prepared for the morning, and have home-made apple crisp ready and waiting for breakfast. Anything else? And yes, I already know what I'm wearing... I find if I don't have an idea for the following day, the morning is a Disaster with a capital D. Seriously - just ask my mom.

Besides getting back into the school routine, I'm also getting into the residence routine. So far so good! Except for my zany roommate. She's a bit of a nutcase. Take tonight, for example: From the kitchen counter you can see the bathroom doors on either side of the suite. While my roommate's (the rommie I don't know) male friend was making popcorn, leaning against this counter, he was chatting with me while I sat in the living room couch, out of eye-sight of the bathroom door. Meanwhile, Kat was in shower. After she was finished, she thought she'd run from the bathroom to bedroom sans clothes or towel - its a short jaunt. So, after yelling "I'm bolting naked from bathroom!!", completely unaware of a boy in our kitchen, she opens the door to streak. And VIOLA - boy looks in her direction because of her garbled yelling and gets a full boob shot while trying to carry on a conversation with me. What a way to great our new roommates and friends!

Have a good Monday night,

D.

home sweet home & love.

Well, fall semester has finally arrived! I'm officially moved into residence and all set-up for school. After a long long day of packing, unpacking, shopping, building, and arranging, I am now calling my suite home.

It is such a change from last year! Already it feels a zillion times more comfortable than my previous living arrangement. Maybe that's because I feel more prepared for the school year? Probably. But with a combination of other things too: having my mom and sister help make my room cozy, living with a friend, moving in good weather & feeling as if I have a purpose.

This summer has opened my eyes to what nursing will be like. Although working in a seniors home is not at all close to a hospital, the concept for caring for patients, or rather people, is the same. Working with the residents has taught me a lot of things - how to talk slowly and clearly, how to deal with hearing aids, dementia, and so on. But most importantly it has taught me how to show love. That may sound silly, but this was revelation for me. All through junior high and JMHS I had built walls around myself to simply survive the days. ECS helped me realize that being a teenager didn't have to be awful and began the process of bettering myself - but it wasn't until the end of this summer that I've finally felt as if I am showing myself to others in a true, open, and loving way. It's hard to talk about death and loneliness without showing your true colors. It's hard to see residents pass on without reflecting on your own interpretation of life and the afterlife. It's hard to deal with messes that happen day after day without focusing on love to get you through. It's hard to deal with suffering to one extent or another and not feel compassion. And plus, old people have a knack for seeing you for you, through all the modern day labels and stereotypes. So although I was hired to help the oldies, it seems as if they have helped me so much more.

I really want to keep this idea of love with me through out my school year. It has helped me through countless tiring and emotional situations at DP - I'm sure it will help me through clinicals this year and years to come. This experience has been a major blessing in my life through so many ways. Who knew that a simple summer job would be so significant?

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." - 1 John 4:7-8

end of summer.

With the end of my full-time summer job coming quickly, I've been getting several good-bye's and well-wishes from the residents. Although I am not leaving completely, working only on Saturdays will seem like nothing compared to the 5/6 shifts a week I've been working throughout the summer.

But tonight it really hit me - I will no longer be a regular face at DP. Someone else will be taking over my routine. And for a moment, I could barely stop myself from crying!! All summer I've been building friendships with these people, enjoying life just a day at a time. I have seen residents come and go, struggle through bad days and celebrate the good days. But what I think it the coolest part is how much I have learnt while working there - about health care, about myself, and about life. And I must say, when school comes, I will sure be missing them.

D.

life in general.

Last night I browsed through old posts and had a few good chuckles. It was really neat to read back on my thoughts and revisit memories.

Right now I feel like I'm in limbo. In between the end of summer and the beginning of school. I'm ready for summer to end - probably because it consisted of work, work and work. Although I do love my job, last week was emotionally draining and I'm just not recharging as quick as I need to. And with being called-in twice on a week I could have used for down time, I'm feeling a bit behind. But this is the joy of being a 'flexible' summer student.

Anyways, the looming school year is helping to keep me motivated. I know I'll be cursing exams in no time, but it sure beats doing nothing. Plus, with the experiences I've had at DP, my nursing classes will be so much more real to me. I can apply what I'm learning in class to my own experiences - something I wasn't able to do last semester.

I'm sure that my practical knowledge from the summer won't go to waste this year either: I've learnt how to remove/clean-up/apply a colostomy bag, do blood sugar tests, clean up every sort of body fluid, put on stockings, wield Polysporin like nobody's business, keep track of medications, put on suspenders, accurately drop eye-drops into eyeballs without shuddering (I despise eyeballs!!), bath bodies, and talk loudly. Skills like these can only be learned in a old-folks home. Hopefully I can show them off during labs/clinicals!! :)

Another plus of school is being able to live on my own again. My family is fabulous, don't get me wrong, however I quite enjoy my own space. And Grant Mac provides me with the perfect arrangement: the opportunity to come home on weekends yet stay in the city during the week. The best of both worlds.

That about sums it up right now. Waking up at 5 every morning is beginning to take its toll on me - but perhaps that is just because the end is in sight? I hope so. So I'm just going keep on chugging and keep my eye on the prize.

Have a good Tuesday!

D.

why I am excited for school:

• sticky notes
• multi-colored highlighters
• binders
• good black pens, blue pens, red pens
• constant coffee drinking
• new textbooks
• fresh lined paper that fits perfectly in a new binder
• fall time
• scribblers
• AGENDAS! CALENDERS!
• good grades (eeek! hopefully.)
• flashcards
• containers for my flashcards
• my new whiteboard!
• my new corkboard!
• learning - yes, I am a nerd.

13 days until move-in day! 22 days until class begin!!

summer reading.

So back in spring, right as school was wrapping up, I decided to read a book every week, totaling up to 16 books read during the summer. Well, sometime near the end of June I passed that goal and now, as I look back, I can't even keep track of all the books I've read. But I loved it!! My book shelf is now overflowing and my library card is looking quite worn.

In another life, I'd love to have been a book critic. Getting paid to read and review books? SWEET! Doesn't it sound perfect?

But, this amount of reading is mere a summer hobby. As soon as September comes my nose will be in the pages of Anatomy and Nursing, and leisurely reading will be shoved to the side.

The amount of reading I've got through this season makes talking 'books' with people quite fun - there is a very good chance that I've read at least 1 or 2 books that someone else can relate to. Even a 94 yr old resident at work - her and I always chat it up about the latest bestsellers found in Chapters. It's quite great.

Otherwise, summer has been lovely and lazy (on my days off, that is). There are only a few weeks until school starts and already I've started the reorganization of my school supplies and residence things. I don't think the start a new school year can ever get old.

D.

at work.

Regardless of how many days I have worked in a row, shifts on Friday always seem to go well. Everyone is happy, looking forward to the weekend, etc. My anticipation for a good Friday died early in my morning when I was in the middle of bathing a resident.

He clocks in to be well over 300 lbs, possibly 400. I had finally finished getting a good lather going from head to toe on him (which took a solid 10 minutes of scrubbing!) when I reached for the shower head to give him a rinse. No sooner had I started to rinse him off, the shower head exploded off the hose, spraying water absolutely everywhere. I was able to turn off the water before too much damage was done, but the entire bathroom floor, as well as my pants, were soaked. I was in a pickle: I have a 350 lbs man covered in suds, soaked in water, stark-naked, sitting on a chair in a shower with no way to rinse off. I couldn't even turn on the water so that it would trickle out - it literally sprayed 360 degrees from its opening. I couldn't disconnect the hose from its base at the top of the shower, so I was completely hooped. It was only 730am and the boss wouldn't be coming in for another hour. And the maintenance man wouldn't be in until freakin' Monday.

Seeing how I can't just leave an naked fat man covered in suds sitting in a shower, I had to make a Plan B. So, I used an ice cream container I found in his fridge, previously used for storing ice, as a scoop. Then I filled up the bathroom sink with water and proceeded to rinse him off with a 1L ice cream bucket. I don't know how, but I managed to rinse and dry every fold, nook, and cranny in time for seeing the next resident.

Although my pants remained soggy for the remainder of the morning, my Friday did redeem itself and the rest of the day was stellar. Hopefully not all Fridays are a repeat of this one.

D.

when mom is out of town.

For as long as I can remember, my house had always functioned differently whenever Mom was out of town. (Actually, I don't think it functioned at all. That could be why she rarely left.) When Mom was out for the day/whatever, Dad would be in charge. All of us kids would just kinda grin and bite our tongues as Dad did what he thought was best for us. Here are some of my favorites:

• for dinner he once melted cheese over rice
• when doing my hair, we would use an entire tube of gel and slick every single strand back into a wicked-tight ponytail. Sometimes, it was so tight that it felt as if my eyes were pulled back and my nationality had changed.
• he always replayed the funny part of a movie over and over and over and over and over again until the humor died.
• then, he'd rent the movie mentioned above the following weekend just to watch the same part over and over and over and over and over... (this still happens, btw!)

And here are some of his 'habits' that are going on this week:

• washing the kitchen counters with Windex
• making lemonade by: pealing & chopping lemons into teeny tiny pieces and mashing them into a pitcher filled with 94085439853 scoops of sugar. So much for a lemon squeezer!
• turning up the radio until the house thuds just to listen to his favorite song during dinner time - then, leaving it blasting while the of radio program continues in the midst of dinner with us yelling at each other across the table
• washing dishes by hand. We have a dishwasher.

Sometimes I just have to laugh. He is so set in his ways. Oh, I love my Dad!

D.

believe it or not,

but this actually happened:

This morning an emergency staff meeting was called while I was on shift. Everyone on duty meet together with our boss-lady, who was looking rather somber. Turns out, a resident is missing $10,000 dollars from their suite. Ten freakin' thousand big ones. All a sudden I feel as if I am working in a zoo!!!!! What happened to order in a seniors home?!

She continued to tell us that the police are involved and an investigation is underway. All of the staff have to be interviewed too. Which is going to fabulous, seeing how I see this certain resident every single shift, twice or more every time. Greeeaaattttt.

I'm not sure why a resident would leave this much cash in thier suite, but hey - it's supposed to be a home! But what is concerning is how large the 'suspect' pool is: everyone working has a key to all the suites (this includes care aides, cleaning ladies, kitchen helpers, cooks, & maintenance men), delivery guys are allowed up, taxi drivers, friends, family, and so on and on and on and on. And all the other residents too! Goodness me. What a mess.

Imagine seeing that much cash just laying around (yes, it was cash - apparently in 20's, 50's, & 100's too). Would it even be possible to just shove it in your pocket and leave?? But first - how could anyone with a conscious do that?!?!?!?!

What a crazy day.

happy birthday to me!

Yes, 19 years ago today I changed the lives of my parents forever. I gave their 'newbie' parenting skills a run for their money, that's for sure. There was no way to know what a little ball of 'fun' I would be...

Fast forward 19 years and look! We all made it! I'm so thankful for my folks and all that they've done for me throughout my life. I know I gave them many, many, many challenging moments - both intentionally and unintentionally - but there was never a thing they couldn't deal with.

So thanks parents, for 19 great years!! I am looking forward to many more ahead. I love you guys!

D.

inexcusable.

Sometimes it's tough being the new person at work. Not only do you have to learn your job, but you have to learn to navigate the social strings too.

I think I've got the first part down pat, but the second part always takes a bit of time. Unfortunately, hearing things through the grapevine seems to dictate how people work together. With an entirely female staff, the staff room can get a tad catty. But sometimes, you find out important things.

Another aide and I found it odd that a certain resident came down for breakfast wearing the same clothes she had worn yesterday. Usually, this isn't a big deal, but this resident in particular has AM care, meaning that someone at work is responsible for making sure she is wearing p.j.'s to bed and fresh clothes in the morning. This is especially important for this lady because has dementia and is notorious for being confused.

Well, when my coworker realized that it was "Jane" who had neglected to properly give AM care for this resident, she spilled on the beans on a much bigger story. Apparently, Jane is notorious for skimping on her duties in a major way. For example, while providing AM care for another resident who is 94, legally blind and excessively frail, Jane will just plop herself down on the resident's couch and wait until the poor lady has finished struggling through her routine. I guess Jane has also totally laid down and shut her eyes during care a few times too. ( I don't know what she is thinking - these people are not stupid. The seniors catch a lot more than she thinks they do. ) Her attitude is absolutely appalling, seeing how anyone would be nervous to leave this resident unattended for even a moment on her feet.

Other residents have reported that she will primp herself in their bathroom mirrors during her shift as well - whether she is doing care or delivering meds, many people have commented on her selfish actions when she stops in.

Sure, I can see slacking off in a retail job, desk job, etc. - taking shortcuts, cutting corners. Not saying it's right, but it does happens. But when your responsible for someone else's well-being and safety, it is inexcusable.

D.

teens.

There was a massive car accident just outside of town a few days ago. A bunch of boys, most of them being 16/17, were racing their cars while drunk at 5am. They crashed into each other - one boy died and the rest were rushed to the ER.

Most of the survivors are still in the ICU. A boy lost his ear and broke both elbows. Another has brain damage. One is gone. And one of the drivers already had a rap sheet for drunk driving prior to that night.

But what might be most disturbing is that the FB walls of their boys are covered with posts like "get better soon bro so we can party it up!" and "man... I miss my favorite drinking buddy!", etc.

Shouldn't this be a message for their friends that maybe, just maybe, their lifestyles of getting hammered and being stupid isn't the best choice? That maybe there is a better way to grow up?

The kids in the town need to see the seriousness of this accident and recognize it as a wake-up call.

sad.

At work we have a whiteboard in the staff room that has a bunch of important information on it - things like which resident is away, who has new medications, who in the hospital, etc. And I suppose that this day would come sooner or later - but one of my 'friends' has been admitted to the hospital with an unpromising diagnosis. Rumor has it that he has cancer, but we are still waiting for the final say.

I guess this is reality when you build friendships with 94 year old residents. But it is a hard truth to face.

D.

me me me.

My mode of transportation? A retro bike.

I think I am the coolest almost- nurse ever.

D.

ok, scratch that.

Ok, scratch out yesterday's feelings of anxiety and worry.

Today was a new day and with it came a renewed sense of peace.

I think I may overdoing it by constantly talking about it on here, but my job adds so much purpose/meaning to my day.

Today's shift was crammed full with baths, but I found a few minutes to participate in bean-bag toss with the rec. coordinator Sam. Her and a bunch of residents were tossing the sac into a board with various holes, each a different size and worth a different amount. Because standing and throwing a beanbag is rather simple for Sam and I, the residents invented new and improved versions of the game: Sam and I had to throw from underneath our legs, blindfolded, blindfolded + spun 5 times, from the back of the room, with our left hand, and from the 'plank' position on the floor. Towards the end they were chanting for us to throwing the sac while standing on our heads, but Sam and I drew the line at that. Bahaha.

It was such a hoot! We all had tears in our eyes as the tosses got more and more ridiculous. It was such a great activity. Who could've guessed how great this job would be?

D.

work work work.

Although I love work, I feel like the days of summer are slipping through my fingers.

All of a sudden it's June 21st and July begins next week. Then I turn 19, work some more, and viola! School appears.

Work drains a lot out of me physically, so when I get home I crash. And it's not like my social life is thriving either, which leads to some eventless days-off.

I have a terrible tendency to look for more to do, regardless of how busy I already am. I need to be occupied to keep my over-active mind in check or else I end up driving myself insane. Most times I'm a-ok - between reading and working, my mind is happily satisfied by the end of the day.

But right now I'm feeling a bit of that anxiety - working, reading, sleeping, repeat. What else is there to do?

Living at home can add to this anxiety. My family is fabulous, but I cherish my own space as well. The need for space gets me thinking about residence in fall and the amount of school work I will need to get through, which adds some anxiety. Not a lot, but some.

But then there is is the whole friend-making/making-myself-known-in-class situation that comes along with school. Social situations top the charts when it comes to stress. I don't know why, but the idea of meeting new people can really freak me out. I still do it, but it takes a lot of self-persuasion to put myself out there.

Phew. It sounds like I'm a nervous wreck, doesn't it? I'm already thinking ahead to September, which is a whole 2 months away and stressing about things way ahead of time. I need to just relax and stop worrying about things until the moment arrives. Easier said than done, right?

Despite how I may feel, working with seniors brightens my day. One way or another, I always leave my shift feeling better about myself, and encouraged in what I do. I really don't know if I could keep myself busy any other way!

D.

blessings.

Tonight I realized that I love my job. Nothing has ever felt so rewarding as caring for these folks. I learn something about life during every shift and I am always astounded by the wisdom of seniors.

The other day I was chatting with a resident who happens to be my old neighbor. We were talking about how she remembers me as a child, over 10 years ago. We laughed over the fact that it took us until now to get to know each other - we had lived mere steps away for over a decade! I enjoy being in her company - visiting her on my rounds has become a highlight of my day.

Recently she celebrated her 94th birthday. I told her I was in awe with her age and how much life she has experienced. After reflecting on my comment for a moment, she admitted that her life went by too fast, and that it's hard to grasp that everything is coming to a close. Her honesty and blunt statement really hit me. Although she ages physically, her mind hasn't slowed a beat. So with bittersweet acceptance, she acknowledges her truth.

When I'm 94, will I be able to do the same? Will I look back and wonder, "Could I have done more with life?" Or will I be content with everything I have done? Will I be able to accept the end when it is near? Her reflection draws the concept of life into a personal reality. When I look back, how will I want to remember my life?

I feel as if I receive more than I give. The quick conversations, the tidbits of truth, the life reflections - these are all moments of wisdom I am so blessed to receive.

My perception of the elderly has changed enormously. What is more unexpected is how my perception of life is changing too. For being a factual/scientific/by-the-books sorta person, I'm amazed at how much purpose I find in something that is entirely out of my mold.

What an unexpected blessing!

Cheers!

weekend.

This past weekend I hung out with my group of friends from high school. It has been a while since we've all gotten together, but it has always been a blast.

Maybe it was just me, but this time seemed different. It has been a year since we've graduated and taken up our different paths. Maybe it is because we aren't together everyday that has weakened feeling of closeness between us. Then again, I've always struggled with friendships. I am often disappointed when the effort it takes me to open up and build relationships or just be in a social situation goes unnoticed. I suppose that this is just the introverted part of me that really shows in these cases. Either way, our get-together left me feeling quite agitated and distant.

I'm hoping it was just a bad day for everyone, or an "off" time together. I'm still rooting for these high school friends.

D.

my job.

Apparently, a few items were left off my job description. Leading group exercises was one of them.

I have been recruited as the next exercise-group leader at DP. Although a lady in the group knows the entire routine off by heart, I am expected to lead all the motions while counting out loud, sitting in the lead spot, where everyone can see me.

Participating isn't too hard. But the counting out loud part is tough - I get the # of reps mixed up and end up stressing the wrong number when I think it's the last rep.

Exercises for old folks are based on fluid, slow movements. However, not everyone can move smoothly or keep a rhythm. So, while one lady is moving her arm to the beat, another is moving the wrong arm to the beat, and yet another is moving her arm in a rapid, irregular motion. I don't know about you, but trying to keep a steady movement while watching many unsteady movements is very challenging.

The end result? The new girl looking like a total monkey while all the seniors show her up at bicep curls and leg lifts.

Cheers,

D.

bodies.

One of the most shocking things I have seen while working is the change our bodies go through as we age. The wrinkles on ones face and hands are visible, but the transformation of everything isn't. Physically and psychologically. I don't mean to say 'shocking' in a negative context ... it's more of a, surprise, at how much our bodies can change over a life time.

It got me thinking. Does anything really combat the telltale signs of aging? Everyone ages, birthdays always reappear. But do the creams, lotions, pills, etc. really help at the end of day?

So far, from what I can tell, smoking seems to be the worst things for aging. Many of the residents who smoke are accompanied by cancer, sour lungs, O2 tanks, etc. Although they may not always be directly connected, the relationships is very, very close. Along with alcohol abuse.

However, I have seen the influence of family on the attitude and well being of the residents. Sometimes the difference between those with support and those without is evident from just entering their room. The oldest folks at the home are surrounded by family, and though not entirely healthy, they are genuinely happy. On the other hand, those struggling with depression are often lonely and devoid of family support.

I know that these are generalities, but it does make some sense. Children and teens are heavily influenced by their family networks - and since seniors sometimes revert back to a child-like state, who is to say that the connection doesn't rebuild itself?

D.

danielle the "almost-nurse"

Sheesh, so it has been a while since I've last posted. I must admit, I had been feeling a bit uninspired. Exams aren't fun and psychology wasn't too interesting. However, with my new job beginning this past Tuesday, I feel as if I have so much to share! So here is a bit for now.

As you may or may not know, I am a Home Care Aide for seniors living at a home here in town. I get to wear scrubs, comfy runners, and yank my hair into a bun every morning. I can ride my retro bike to work every morning, and even get a free meal. All is well.

It is true that they say - nursing isn't for wimps. It most certainly isn't. Although I am not a nurse at the moment, what I am doing is as close as I can get. My shifts are crammed with caring for residents and their various ailments, getting them ready for the day, and organizing/giving out their medication.

If I have ever doubted my capacity to care, I now know that my heart is very much capable. It takes an extraordinary amount love to truly care for people, more than I had anticipated. Some residents are forgotten, neglected, or just left to be. Some residents have been betrayed by their own bodies but still retain a mind as quick as can be. Although I have just begun, my heart strings have been pulled for these people.

My mind is swimming with what I've learned, so this is all I will write for now. But I can say for sure that I will post soon with more stories! Cheers,

D.

reading.

I have officially finished the Harry Potter series, as of Friday. It was a sad moment when I realized that my 'alternate reality' would be ending.

Since then, I've been working my way though JK Rowling's "The Tales of Beedle the Bard", a children's storybook Albus gave Hermione in the seventh book. Although it is a short book, it's neat to read more about Rowling's magical world from a different perspective.

Other than that, life is as per usual! Cheers,

D.

schoolio.

In the midst of psychology, which isn't too time consuming, Harry Potter tends to fuel my procrastination. I was unprepared for how addicting these books would become!! One more to go... I'm savoring the sixth book, and trying not to rush. I am not looking forward to finishing the seventh book.

Anyways. It has taken me a week to get back into the swing of school of again, but I guess that's a normal. A week of sleep and TV in between finals and psychology has really thrown my system through a loop. I am back on track now, thanks to coffee and Harry Potter. Don't laugh. Something has to keep me awake, and something has to keep me motivated!!

So I'm getting a little restless at home (surprise, surprise). I'd like to do or try something different, but haven't really pinpointed it. I'm not going to cut my hair again, and blonde just doesn't work. There's a gym in Devon, but thats a lot of cash I don't have. And I don't think getting another tattoo is something I should do willy-nilly. Even then, those are all things that aren't all that exciting, especially long-term. Plus I've done all of that already!! I would love to travel, but being a student makes that hard, especially with a full-time job over summer. I'm stumped. I really need to find something to do, not only for my well being but my parents as well. They are the ones who have to deal with me all summer, after all! Ideas??

D.

The Elephant House

'The Elephant House' cafe, in Edinburgh, UK, is the nook where JK Rowling wrote the first part of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. I was reading up on her life and was amazed with how her personal life impacted the creation of her characters.

Here are a few things I found out: Rowling lost her mother to multiple sclerosis while she was in the midst of writing the first book. This greatly influenced Harry's character: his parents where murdered by a famous Dark wizard while he was a baby and had to deal with the challenges of loss and fame while simply a teenager. Rowling also struggled with depression and suicide, creating the background of the Dementor characters: hooded, evil creatures that suck away the happiness and joy from anyone they surrounded. Her life experiences and circumstances have evidently formed the back bone of her work. It's also mentioned that her struggles with her faith have heavily influenced the 7th book - I'll look back on this once I've read it.

If I had another life, I would put all my heart into being an author. It would be fabulous to just sit and write, whether it be a children's book or an editorial. I don't want to shut the door on writing, but I know it's something that needs to be put on the back burner at the moment. So for now, I'm just thoroughly enjoying the works of others and getting lost inside the wonderful world of books.

Cheers!

D.

friendship.

I have the hardest time at finding genuine friends. Sure, I handful of good people that I don't mind getting along with, but it is rare for me to find someone I can really put my heart into.

During summer, while I was at camp, I had a 'best friend'. We were just like the stereotypical duos you see in Hollywood movies.

But that was then, and this is now. Camp was the setting where our friendship flourished - not real life. It hurts to see times change and friendships fall apart. Especially when you find something that is rare. I suppose it is part of life of changing and continuing on, but why do friendships have to change too?

D.

one, two, and three

Three Harry Potter books in 4 days.

Harry Potter binge? I think so.

Harry Potter.

Maybe it's because of school, but I love love love fiction. It's an amazing get away from 'real life', and the predicable way of doing things. Who would expect a giant on a flying motorcycle, or a three-headed dog named Fluffy? Yes, that is from Harry Potter, btw. I started the series today, and couldn't believe how much I had forgotten!

HP was a big deal when I was in grade 5. It was so cutting-edge, so controversial that my parents didn't let me read it or see the movie. They were concerned about the witchcraft and cautious about the potentially-negative message. But, after a lot of bugging, they let me watch the first flick while I was at a teacher's house during a class field-trip. And holy poop, I was scared out of my freakin' pants!! For those of who have seen the first show, Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone, there is a scene where a black, hooded creature (aka Voldemort) drinks blood from a dead unicorn. After watching that, I couldn't sleep for a week. I kept thinking that something evil would get me while I slept. Oh, how I wished that I had listened to my parents!

Fast forward a handful of years. The HP series is probably one of the most popular set of books out there, and many many kids read them. Heck, it's even used for novel studies in school!! I'm glad I got over my fear of 'evil unicorn-blood drinking Dark wizards', cause these stories are so so good. Every book is great read.

I did eventually read the series (or what was published at that time), and hung on to every word. I got over that scene from the movie and came to really enjoy the books. But that was quite a while ago - I've read so many books since, so the details have gotten quite fuzzy or just forgotten. SOOOOOOO, I'm reading them all over again :D

Ok, so I think I've nerded myself out enough...

D.

books!!

Hellllllooo summer holidays. Classes are done, exams are done, school is done. Well, 'till next Monday at least. Pysch, but only for 3 weeks, starts and ends in May. But regardless, I'm still rejoicing the end the finals.

So now what shall I do? I'm not sure who is more afraid of what will happen when I have no school work to do: my mother or myself. Hopefully I can burn off some mental energy reading.

Speaking of which, I think it would neat to see how many books I can finish this summer. My summer break consists of 18 weeks - oh my, that seems so long! - and I think I could really burn through some good material by the time fall rolls around.

So here is the plan: read a book every week, then blog about it.

Guidlines: Rereads are acceptable, but it can't be one from this summer.

And 200 of the 201 pages in the book can't be filled with pictures. That's just silly.

What do you think - is it possible? I definitely think so.

However, I will set my goal at 16, for a few reasons: One, I have a three-week course in May. I may struggle to finish 3 novels in that time span. And secondly, if I reread the Harry Potter series, which I intended on doing, a few 700+ page books may be a tad more time consuming than other reads. That being said, it is 700 pages of absolute magic, so I may be alright...

There it is! My goal for the summer.

D.

PS - any good book suggestions???

mondaaaaay.

Class are officially over!! I can hardly believe that an entire semester is done. Or that I'm living at home again! I'm out of residence now, and all cozied up in my room at home. It's just lovely to be back in my familiar bed, with a clean kitchen and delicious food.

But I am looking forward to next semester already! I'm living with a bestie in a 4-person suite in fall. I'm hoping that our other 2 suite-mates will get along with us... it would be a bonus if we could all be friends!! Yes, I realize how cheezy that sounded. But still, it would be a riot if we all got along.

Online registration was an absolute gong show. At 12.01am, every single nursing student was able to sign up for their fall/winter classes. Basically, it means that WebAdvisor (the system you must go through to register online) was slower than a turtle, and would randomly boot you out of your account. Because of the massive amount of people online at once, it almost crashed. (Apparently, it had done this in previous years.) This made for a lot of confusion and a very late night. By the time everything was said and done, it was 2.30am. It took me that long to register.

The most annoying thing was how slow the system was. Often the class you were trying to register for would fill up as your browser was loading!! It was unreal. Thankfully, my timetable for Fall turned out to be pretty good, and I was able to snag my first choice for the Year 2 (winter) classes.

Now it's on to exams - 4 to go then I'm a free student. Bahaha, sorta. Psychology starts and ends in May. So technically I still have a semester to go. But I'll be working too! Tomorrow is my official interview at the seniors home. I'm happy to finally get the details decided, like my hours, my job, pay, etc.

It's odd adjusting to doing something else other than camp. I know it's not really summer yet, but still. Usually, just days after my last exam, I'm off to Nakamun. I'm worried that I'll regret not going back this year. At the same time, I don't know what it's like to live at home over summer - it's very possible that I will end up loving my job, get reacquainted with friends from junior high, and find an interest in things I wouldn't have expected.

I suppose this is where faith comes in. Faith to reassure me that I'm on the right path and doing the right thing.

D.

thursday.

I think I may have a caffeine hangover. Is that even possible??

I downed my regular zillion cups of jo, topping off with a iced venti americano around 7 last night. I was alert long enough to do everything I needed to do, but woke up this morning feeling like I got hit by a train.

I think it is a combination of too much caffeine and not enough water. I also ate a few pieces of this uber delicious apple-caramel cake thing thats laying around my apartment. I've got to chuck that thing out.

Regardless, that americano was delicious. My brain was more than happy to finally be fueled by strong coffee. No more of that Timmy Ho's crap.

I kid, I kid.

If I can't afford venti americanos every morning, I am in school. Duur.

Thursday?

• registration for next semester open tonight @ 12am. I must beat everyone. I want my perfect timeable!!
• finish that stoopid essay. the rough draft if done, so it's time to make it squeaky clean!!
• to gym or not to gym? I can't decide... plus, there's another wretch potluck this morning, aka carb overload. How long can I resist pancakes, bacon, scones from Cob's Bread and muffins from TH's?
• bah. just get through today wittha smile.

Happy Thursday!!

p.s. - I'm beginning to move out this weekend - SHEESH!! I enough clutter in my apartment for two moving sessions. That's almost embarrassing.

p.p.s - and yes, this entry looks different than the rest. the other font was looking old. it's also too early for functioning properly. I need a nap.

gameplan.

Here's the game plan:

Finish final English paper by Friday.

Learn all pelvic and lower limb bones/muscles/blood supply by Friday.

Commence insane, all-consuming studying for finals by Saturday.

(First final: Wednesday - Anatomy)

How, you ask?

By not wasting time watching Nurse Jackie, Lost, House, surfing Facebook, Tumblr, Blogger, and the related things. By drinking exorbitant amounts of coffee, sleeping while not drinking coffee, and looking ahead to summer time.

Cheers!

what's what.

Things are changing this summer. I'm saddened & excited all at the same time!

Exciting

• "summer" starts in two weeks, as soon as exams are done - heck yes for an uber long vacation!
• I'm almost 100% sure that I'll be working as a home care aide at a seniors home this summer. BONUS: good $$, walking distance from home, excellent future reference, and I get to learn life lessons from the lovies who live there. Can't wait!!
• on that note, sad part: I am not returning to camp this year. I can't remember a summer where I haven't been at Nakamun for some length of time. But I'm hoping next summer I can return as a the nurse - that would be sweet!
• seeing how I'll be at home, I'm going to start some projects: 1. learn how to garden; 2. relearn the piano (guitar too?); and 3. learn how to cook yummy dishes - fish, Italian pastas, and maybe some chinese too?
• and the library - oh joy joy joy!! I can read - all summer. I wonder how many books I can finish?!

I'm looking forward to this change. I'm happy that I will have minimal expenses living at home, and that my job will help me along my journey of nursing. It's a little sad to see things change and go, but I know I will enjoy this summer where ever it leads me.

But for now, I should concentrate on getting this semester finished. My first two finals are next week, followed by two more the following week. It will be over before I know it! WOHOO!

Cheers!

nakamun.

Nakamun, I am going to you miss you.

But maybe I'll be back...

As a nurse?

Ya, that would be nice.

Peace for now.

guest speakers.

In Nursing 170 we had a 'Nursing Roles' class, which is basically where you get to sit back, relax, and enjoy presentations about various fields in nursing put together by other nurses.

The first presenter was from the OR. She gave a basic run-through of what an OR nurse does. She (or he) is responsible for setting up and maintaing the sterile field during the entire surgery - from setting up before the patient comes in, during surgery, and afterwards. If a doctor or intern touches anything soiled, she has the power to give them the boot and make them scrub-in all over again. She is control of who comes in, who leaves, and what tools are being handled during the procedure. She is also responsible for prepping the patient beforehand, making sure they know what they are getting done, the risks, etc.

This area sounds so neat, and something I may be good at: patient interaction is present, but still at minimal; certain things need to be prepped, organized (yay!), and laid out prior to surgery; and the OR nurse has the ultimate say on who does what. (outside of the surgery itself, of course). Organization, responsibility, and bossiness = things I like!!

And no, I'm not denying that I like to be bossy anymore... :)

The next speaker worked up North for 2 years before settling back down in the city and getting his Masters. I think this would be so neat! He worked up in Northern Ontario where there are no roads, only sled-dogs, snowmobiles, and planes. There are typically no physicians in these areas either - one may fly up once a month or so. So, the RN is the 'doctor'! He was able to practice outside of his scope (outside of what a usual RN would do in the city/somewhere with doctors present) and experience nursing in a whole new light.

I think that would be such a fun adventure, especially for a year after I graduate. What a great way to be innovative as a nurse! Many things RN's do up North are prohibited in cities, so it would experience.

I'm so excited, and so happy, that I've chosen nursing. It seems like there are so many opportunities out there, whether it means staying in Edmonton or traveling around the world.

Happy Easter Weekend!

D.