HA!

A- in English?

Yes please!!

Today turned about to be a good day.

Long shower + lunch with friend + amazing Chinese food + English mark + apple pie promised for Good Friday= oh, happy day.

D.

it's one of those days.

It's one of those days.

I feel like I'm in grade 10 again.

I wish my mom was closer,

cause I really need a hug.

the tough stuff.

There are some topics that get me so frustrated that I feel like screaming.

But what makes me even more angry are discussing these things with people who have no clue what they are talking about.

Take yesterday, for example. A girlfriend and I went out for coffee to just chat about school, life, etc. Somehow, we strayed to the topic of abortion. Now, I am not a know-it-all in this debate and don't want to stand on a soapbox and preach my opinions for everyone to hear. But I was so, so offended when my friend said that "babies aren't babies until they move and cry", and that doing away with the unwanted 'mongrels' would actually benefit society - she claimed the poverty rate was reason enough to allow abortions. She said it so point-blank that I was stunned into silence.

If that doesn't curdle your blood, you need to see a doctor.

For the few moments, I was questioning why I was even friends with her. First, who is she to determine what is alive and what isn't? She's not even taking sciences! Secondly, she cannot establish a direct link with poverty and children - no one can. It's impossible. Poverty is influenced by countless other factors, so many that all the smart-people of the word can't find a solution to solve it. For her to say that babies cause poverty is completely untrue and reflects her own ignorance. And, who is she to determine who lives and dies? What credentials does she have? She is 18 years old, never had a boyfriend, never-mind a baby, has never lived in poverty, and excepts her opinion to be valid - she is absolutely ridiculous.

Personally, I believe abortions are awful and should not be allowed. However, I am not blind to the horrendous circumstances where abortions seem to be the only answer - rape, babies developing with serious defects, being born poverty or corruption, being born to a drug-addicted mother, etc. And who would blame them if they did chose abortion? What a horrible position to be in. My heart goes out to those struggling through those tough decisions. But who are we, as humans, to say who should live and who should die? I don't believe that's our call.

Ugh. These topics make me cringe because I know I'll have to face them head-on while I'm working. They are so difficult, so complex. How can they be solved? Why do we even have these issues in the first place?

D.

more summer thoughts.

So things are looking up for me in the summer-employment department.

I've been offered a potential job as a Home Care Aide at a old-folks home right in my home town. This is freakin' awesome for a few reasons

• $$ is solid - I will make enough to pay for this coming fall semester, residence, and a school-years amount of groceries.
• the reference - having a reference from a job closely tied with nursing is a FABULOUS way to have an edge ahead when I graduate.
• the experience - working with seniors will build up my comfort level before clinical begins in fall.

I have to let Nakamun know of my decision by the end of this week. And the lady from the care home is finalizing plans around that same time. My fingers are crossed for it to all work out!

D.

decisions decisions.

ARGH. Sometimes I wish I was a kid so I could let the folks do the problem solving for me.

It's the time of year to start thinking about summer jobs. For me, it's always been at Nakamun. In fact, I've spent the last 4 birthdays there, from my 15th to the 18th. I can't remember a birthday I haven't spent enjoying pancakes and a campfire.

But this year things are a bit different. I have to make enough money to pay for school, for rent, for living expenses in general. And right now, Nakamun isn't cutting it. I had over estimated what I'd be making. I wasn't even close. I find it terribly depressing that I have to make my choice based on money, but this is what it comes down to at the moment. And I've been asked to make this choice by Monday. BAH!

An opportunity has come up to work as a Nursing Attendant at a seniors home here in town. And it sound's wonderful, but I am not guaranteed a full time position ... yet. By May I'll know for sure (the end of Spring classes). At the home I'll get great pay, have minimal expenses living at home, and gain fantastic experience related to nursing. So what's so bad with it?

Nakamun has been a pretty solid influence in my life. I remember as a teen, feeling so lonely that I would just count down the days until I could return to Nak, back to where the people were 'normal'. And it's still like that for me at times. It's a get away, a place where believing in the goodness of life, in God, isn't hated on. And that is so precious and unique.

I get that everyone needs to grow up, move on with life and whatnot. I'm feeling a little sad that this may be my time. Goodness, this will be my 5th summer working! That a lot of time.

Anywho. This pressure will be bombarding my mind for the weekend. I'm hoping to watch instructions drop from the sky or find a letter of guidance in my mailbox. I'll have to see! I have no idea what this weekend will bring.

D.

SES

SES stands for 'social economic status', or socioeconomic status.

It's a term that links where you live, your job, income, and health all into a single figure that ranks on you on a scale. From this term, researchers have been able to identify trends between an individual's health and their wealth. It shows various things. For example, CEOs and high-end company bosses are shown to have a lower likely hood of developing chronic diseases and illness than those who work for minimal wage in a unfavorable environment. This is even combined with smoking, drinking, obesity, and any other factors that can affect health. This direct relationship remains the same.

This relationship has been further linked with education - many are suggesting that those with higher education have stable employment, less hazardous working conditions, higher pay, which all contributes to good overall health.

What I found most disturbing is the cycle of poor health many low SES families are trapped in. A movie from my Health Studies class stated that fast food joints are over crowding the areas of a lower SES communities . Now, this is only one of many factors contributing to this issue.

And this idea makes sense, if you think about it. $1.79 for a XL at Timmy's and the Dollar Menu at Mc D's make those food joints the hotspot for people who only have $20 for groceries. And if you add a family in the mix, Mc D's is the best way to fill their kids stomachs on a tight budget. The grocery stores in the area only offer combo deals on canned soups, white bread, KD and chicken strips because who can afford broccoli and peppers living paycheck to paycheck?

What about fruit? Whole grains? None of these nutritional elements essential for a child's health are offered at these places. Nothing. So, no one will introduce an organic food market or whole-food restaurant because no one can afford it. As a result, these children are WAY WAY more at risk for developing problems like heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. These children are born and raised in an unhealthy environment. And how do you expect their performance in school to be affected? This branches onto the topic of university students not being able to afford food either... but that's a whole other rant.

It's easy to see why lower income households have a higher rate of health issues. Less money = cheap food that lacks any nutritional value = health problems = high medical bills = less money = cheap food... it's a sad continuum.

I am so bugged that there are people in Canada, here in Edmonton, who are in poverty. They are the hidden homeless, scrounging for money, just hoping to have food in the fridge by the end of the week. For goodness sakes, this is wrong. So wrong.

Thanks a lot, health studies class. You have given me my frustration for the day!

D.

Timmy H.

I find it challenging to blog regularly cause of the insane routine I'm in here at school.

Wake up, eat, class, study, nap, study, eat, study, sleep. Repeat.

There's not much more to it!

I have developed some odd habits, however. Visiting TH's daily. Watching The Big Bang Theory until my sides hurt. Looking forward to weekend for the sole purpose of sleep. Consuming excessive amounts of caffeine. Shopping for bargains and rejoicing when successful.

But that is university, I suppose.

I finished midterms yesterday. FINALLY. I don't understand why it's even called a 'mid' term anymore. It's more like a '3/4 of the way' term. Goodness. It was on the muscles of the neck/head/face and the central nervous system (CNS) - the brain and spinal cord. I have really grown to enjoy learning about various muscles, what they do, how they work. And the names are just bizarre, but after staring at them for long enough, words like oculi, oris, and corrugator begin to make sense.

The CNS, on the other hand, makes me want to bang my frontal bone (forehead) repeatedly against a desk. Neurglia, white matter, gray matter, spinous processes, oligodendrocytes, dorsal ventrals, GAH! For some reason, the nervous stuff and I just don't get along.

If any of you are hardcore coffee drinkers with a tight-budget, you would've circled the month of March as the beginning of the ROLL UP THE RIM TO WIN contest at Timmy H. I don't know about you, but the anticipation of finding $10,000 or an SUV hidden underneath my rim is almost more elating than the caffeine itself. However, the score of TH: 4,456 D: 2 doesn't suggest positive odds. Regardless, I will keep truckin' on until I win that stupid SUV or free muffin. I'm determined to.

The other day, while out shopping with my mother, I saw an UNROLLED Timmy's cup in a garbage bin. I was absolutely aghast that someone threw away the opportunity to win a prize others are willing to crawl through garbage for. For a moment, I considered shutting the Nursing books for good and taking up dumpster-diving instead. After all, who knows how many unrolled SUV-winning coffee cups are rotting away in a trash pit? However, after much inner turmoil and restraint, I let that cup be and continued on my way. I will never know if a Toshiba Netbook was under that germ-ridden rim or not. How I wish I rolled that rim.

Love, D.

prayer.

I just tried to cook fish on a cookie tray.

My future husband should start praying now.

Or start saving for a cook.

D.

why is a raven like a writing desk?

I love watching movies.

Especially now that I'm in school full time.

I enjoy the contrast of intense studying and mundane activity, which probably explains why I absolutely loved the new Alice in Wonderland movie.

It was a drug-inspired Tim Burton film at it's best. I enjoyed the British accents to no end, loved the 3D glasses, and couldn't get enough of the Cheshire cat. He just appeared as he pleased, slyly grinning from ear to ear (literally), then vanished into a puff of smoke. Something about his character was just great. Perhaps it's the fact he's a floating, talking, disappearing cat?

The plot was a lot different than I had expected. It didn't follow the traditional Lewis Carroll storyline, but included a lot of the main characters: the White Queen, Queen of Hearts, Hatter and his crazy rabbit-friend, the stupid pudgy brothers, and the rabbit that's always running late. The Hatter, or more commonly known as Johnny Depp, was quite the character. He truly was mad. His eyes would change from green to orange, one pupil would dilate at a time, and his orange hair stuck out at all angles. But I do think he played his character well. Depp is quite the actor. But the 3D features just made the entire story so much cooler. There's nothing quite like tripping down a rabbit hole and having to dodge falling grand pianos, ducking as the Red Queens tries to chop off your head, or grimacing as the pot-smoking caterpillar blows rings into your face.

Anywho. I think university-life is slowly bringing the movie-buff out of me. But why not? Especially with the student prices, it's a whole lot better than wasting money on the bar, beer, and crappy night life. At the theatre I go to, right downtown, it's $10 for your ticket, popcorn and drink. I don't know about you, but I'd say that's a pretty sweet deal.

Cheers,

D.

my daily routine.

smarts.

Today a friend I had met just this semester tell me she that had withdrawn from the nursing program. She told me through tear-filled eyes that she just couldn't do it anymore - the stress, the exams, the pressure to know it all. I have to admit, although I did feel terrible for her, I could see it coming. I had watched her struggle though Anatomy, Physiology, and Nursing.

And maybe that's worse than being caught off guard? It got me thinking.

But on a level I can totally relate - I changed universities last semester and struggled to stand by my choice. But everything pulled through and came together. How can you tell someone struggling through a difficult time that things always get better? Bah. If someone told me that while I moped at my lowest, I would've bit their head off (just ask my Mother).

Sorta related, but not - I've been surprised lately by the complaining I've heard from class mates.

"I can't believe I missed ANTM again - stupid physiology!"

"English is too hard, so I went out drinking with 'ma buddies."

"I gave look over my notes and said 'PFT, no one's passing anyways!' "

"The prof didn't say _____ would be on the test! ARGH!"

Seriously, folks. Did you think your degree would just be handed to you? Perhaps a clarification between real life and the lives shown on House/Grey's/Mercy life is necessary.

Yes, I do my fair share of complaining too - don't get me wrong. However, it's usually self-inflicted torture: procrastination, stubbornness, or just laziness. I try to stay away from this self-righteous, I-don't-need-to-study nonsense. Face it, folks. Studying and university are basically welded to be hand-in-hand.

And besides, finishing the 4 years IS possible. Look at all the graduate nurses now! They've had to come from somewhere - there's no stork just dropping off RN's whenever the need arises. Most of them have faced the music of university and survived just fine.

I'm feeling a tad over-zealous making these claims - the plank in my eye is just as massive, if not bigger, as my neighbor's. Don't get me wrong! To some extent, the Torture of retail makes me a tad 'school-happy'. Yes, with a capital T. But I think it's this love I have to learn, and then do something important with it, that keeps me going strong. When I was in elementary school, good ol' Pops bought me a kids-version Anatomy book. I studied that book with him until our favorite pages were dog-eared and the binding was well worn. I could locate every atrium and ventricle within the heart, and rattle off the names of the major arteries and veins. I was convinced, in my over-active mind, that when I saw someone in a dire situation, my knowledge of their heart would be able to save their life, letting everyone live happily ever after. And you know what? My mindset hasn't changed all too much since then.

I've been following the site of Sarah Wallace, founder of Olive Tree Projects in Haiti, for quite some time. I love reading her latest updates and keeping up with her progress. What's even cooler is how other Haiti-focused blogs I follow have referenced her and her work: she's the real deal down there! One one site I watched a video of her teaching a group of Haitians how to clean their water supply. She was just talking away in Creole, demonstrating how a simple technique was so effective in perserving their water supply. As soon as she started talking, I started to cry - there's something about helping the absolute helpless, with whatever you've got, that has a place in my heart. Right now, she's the best demonstration of that kind of selfless love. And if she can help, in simple, tangible ways, how can I not? Frankly, I don't see much else that tops the importance of this. I have to help.

So here's my main thought, after all this: as a kid, I loved to learn - and I still love to learn. Sure, it takes time and effort, but the opportunities that result, ones to make a difference, are absolutely priceless. So how dare we complain about having such a blessing while there are people in our world with nothing to eat. That is ridiculous.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm driven by this need to give back, in some way, the things that I've been blessed with. I don't know exactly how, or exactly when, but I am certain that my life is on this route for a reason like this. So when I hear complaints about school, studying, or the 'hardships' of being a Canadian citizens, I get a little cheesed. Bah.

I had planned to simply check FB messages and then head off to finish Nursing homework before supper. I guess I got a little side tracked and published my rant for the day. Oh boy.

Take care,

D.

love.

While stopped at a gas station, I was sitting in the front seat of our family van and watched as a truck pulling a horse trailer pulled over on the far side of the road. Out walked this cowboy, a fair-skinned guy with the blue jeans and belt buckle, half swaggering from bow-legs and half from his mud-caked boots. Our eyes met and he smiled as he continued his saunter into the store. I couldn't help but think about his life, and how amazingly simple it must be. No crazy city traffic, no business agendas, no blaring sirens, no Blackberry. Just him and the farm, his cattle, his horses. Often I catch myself day dreaming about the type of man I'll marry. Will he be musical? A hippie? A businessman? An athlete? A cowboy? I'm thinking that getting hitched to the cowboy-type would be kind of nice. It would be just him and I, the beauty of the outdoors, and our horses. I could return home after a long shift and be greeted by the silence of countryside and the fresh natural air. My biggest choices would include which horse to ride, what to cook fro supper, and possibly, if I'm really ambitious, which flowers to plant in my garden.

I definitely have a soft-spot in my heart for that romance stuff. Chick flicks make me swoon, and I usually end up bawling by the end. But does that 'stuff' really exist? I was sitting with a good girlfriend in Tim's yesterday and I was telling her about my grand plan of living the country life. I said that my husband would be simply obsessed with me, and I with him - we'd live a life full of love and horses, happily growing old together. She laughed at me and snorted that husbands can't love like that. Her comment rattled me a bit - I guess deep down, I'm rooting to find that type of guy to spend the rest of my life with. I hope one day I'll meet him, perhaps while I'm browsing through the shelves of a used-book store or standing in line to order my favorite cup of coffee. Who knows. But I hope it happens. I have such a lovely life, and I really would love to share it with someone. Someday.

Love, D.

slow down.

Does it ever hit you how fast we are going? Or how noisy everything is?

Whenever you enter or leave the Residence building, there is usually someone heading in the same direction as you. To be polite, you hold the door if you can. But how often do we do that whole 'holding-the-door-while-walking' thing, where we awkwardly attempt to keep the door from closing while not bothering to stop? I pretty much do it all the time. But what's so urgent to keep me from stopping for a mere second to show some courtesy to the person behind me?

I also can't get my head around the noise that I hear all the time. Even without being aware of it, there's always some kind of background noise that stalks my subconsciousness. Construction. Emergency vehicles. TV. Radio. City traffic. Dogs barking. People talking. What's more ridiculous is how often we use to sound to block out the sound we don't want to hear! If someone's talking too loud we turn our music up higher. If the banging and clunking is overpowering the news, we turn up the volume.

These thoughts got me thinking about camp, and the peacefulness I always find there. Whether it's sitting by the lake or walking across the site, there is this sense of calm that surrounds the entire area. I don't think it's as much as a actual 'quietness' as it is more like a spiritual calm. And I'm thinking that I'll dearly miss that part of Nakamun if I don't return there this summer.

Dani.

fail.

A few weeks ago I submitted an essay for English. I proofed it a zillion times, read it forwards and backwards, inside and out. I wanted to show the professor that I was good at English - I made sure everything was perfect to a "T".

I was so happy with the end product that I wanted to wave it in everyone's face.

Today I got the mark back and I barely passed.

What the fudge, professor.

PTL for a revision option. Thankfully we can resubmit our work for a 10% upgrade. What's a fudge mark plus 10%? Still a fudged-up mark.

Sometimes I wonder why I just didn't stay a professional barista at Starbucks.

Bah.

D.