last week of third year.

Holy smokes, I can't begin to communicate how zany this semester has been. From working with babies, to dying patients, to teaching elementary school, I've been all over the map. I've gone from anticipating nursing to loathing nursing... this has really been a 15-week roller coaster.

I've realized that regardless whether I continue in or leave this profession, I'm here now and need to do well. My undergrad is the springboard for more. Unfortunately, my indifference to the profession has come back to bite me in the butt for some assignments. GRR. Nothing like being called to the side and having your instructor asking 'what happened?!' for a wake-up call.

January is the beginning of fourth-year, and I can't wait. A new start, the final year, the last stretch. And finally classroom time... nerdy as it sounds, I miss it. I've had enough of clinical for now, and I'm SO SO done attempting to navigate Edmonton via public transit...

But before all of that.... CHRISTMAS!

Unlike my previous semesters living away, I have been home maybe 4 times, not even staying overnight for most trips. A combination of an insane clinical schedule, working for residence, friends and a boyfriend have kept me downtown almost every weekend, scrambling to even have down-time for myself.

So I'm looking forward to some relaxing times at home, catching up with family, and soaking in all the holidays have to offer!

D.

one rotation at a time...

Venting in my last post helped to extinguish some brain-pressure.... I don't feel nearly as suffocated as before!

My third and final rotation has begun: Community. Despite its 'fluffy' reputation, I am looking forward to a change of scenery - 5 AM starts and scrub-chic were getting a little tiresome.

Looking at patients from a community-perspective is very different from the hospital-perspective unit. I'm used to a band-aid approach, where we fix the physical problem - perhaps temporarily - but send them back into the same environment/context that caused/exacerbated the ailment in the first place. It's like looking at patient care from either an upstream (community) or downstream (hospital) approach. Very interesting.

My instructor is a highly intelligent woman who teaches from a Masters/Nurse Educator perspective. Nothing is as simple as Diagnosis X = Treatment Y. Everything is interrelated, connected, part of a larger web of health. Her lens of nursing and healthcare is definitely based on a higher-level of thinking, which for me, is exciting and challenging. It's a glimpse into advanced education - and although nursing, a road I am still strongly considering.

So perhaps all nursing hope is not lost? I suppose only time will tell.... :)

D.

honesty.

Again, it has hit me in the face that I really suck at keeping up with blogging. However, I've been having a lot of thoughts lately - big ones, scary ones - and I feel like the best way for me to sort them out is to write them here. So I'm back!!

When fall came around, I was giddy with anticipation. 3rd year clinical - when nursing begins to become real. Acute conditions. Independence. Critical thinking. Life and death. I was looking forward to the rotations ahead and patient variety. Moms and babies, acute medicine, community. All very different, yet very full of exciting potential.

Fast forward to now. 10 of 15 weeks done and I'm still waiting to feel that spark I once had. I feel restless, bored. My mind is working overtime, keeping me awake at night. I'm just not feeling it. I countdown the hours until my shift is done, the shifts until my week is done. I anticipate weekends like no other, and need to make a conscious effort to complete clinical-related research.

It's not that I feel 'above' tasks like bathing, pericare, and toileting. Not at all. I just figured that by the tail-end of my degree I'd be putting my noggin' to some good use and not just stifling my gag reflex. My fuse is getting shorter with being at the bottom of the totem pole, being bossed by other professionals, and having physicians ignoring my presence simply because they wear a white coat.

I was looking forward to graduating as a RN, to feeling content with my degree and its benefits, and to working as a nurse, happily ever after. My long-term plan was to either A. move up the nursing ladder, meet someone, travel, have a family, yada yada yada or B. jump ship and move to higher education after a few years, assuming I still had only myself to worry about.

Instead, I am convincing myself to stay-put until graduation. I've met someone who makes me believe that both a relationship and medicine are possible. I've sketched out a plan to get to the MCAT. I dream about being a doctor.

I am really hoping these feelings are at least in part due to the fact that I am not in theory semester.  Something about the routine and challenge of classes is exactly what I need. It's challenging, makes me think. I've wrestled with thinking that I could be content with a job I tolerate, but a life I love. However, I have this nagging suspicion these feelings may continue to resurface if I don't at least give it a shot.

GAH - my life plan is teetering off the direction I had so carefully laid out. Not at all in a negative sense.... but a frighteningly new way I had not planned for. One where I could work towards my craziest dreams while having a life I love with the people I care about.

For now, I am still in my BScN with another year & 5 weeks to go. I'm in it to the end. But perhaps it's only the end of the nursing road and the beginning of something more?

D. 

babies & bellies!

Ok, so I've been more than absent from my blog since mid-summer... but now that school is back in - and it's clinical time! - I have no excuse not to share a story or two :)

Tomorrow third-year clinical begins. My first rotation: Labor and Delivery. Man oh man.... I have the feeling that no amount of reading and memorization will help to prepare - it's the beginning of life!! I'm very excited, and anxiously waiting (very impatiently!) for this rotation to get underway.

Just a brief blurb tonight - 5 am comes quickly. I'll catch up soon :)

D.

What's Been Up.

Again, I am being the world's worst blogger!
But here's what's been happening lately.

Work. I am spending my M-F week getting paid for non-nursey activities! I am now a Scanning Queen and spend 8 hours a day organizing old research papers/science experiments into a large database. The only thing that is keeping me sane is my iPod, and the ridiculous pay - goodbye student loans?! I shouldn't complain....

Grad: My little sister graduated - WHAT?! Just yesterday we were sleeping in bunk-beds, wearing matching outfits, and playing dress-up. And now on Thursday she's 18. Oh my goodness.

Boys: Um... yes. Boys. All of a sudden they (yes, plural! sheesh!) have begun to pop up in my life. I have my first ever blind-date/group-date with one guy planned for next week! Holy smokes, that sounds so weird... but I am muy excited. Brook is coming too - if she isn't the biggest screening tool, I don't know what is!

Girls: I definitely believe that since high school, the relationship between my girl friends and I has gotten stronger. Although we are all in different place in life, when we hang it out it's just insane fun and reconnecting. I am valuing their mark in my life more and more.

Balance: With 40 hours a week spent on mundane tasks, I have a lot more free time and energy for activities and even just myself. Since school ended, I've learned the value of maintaining balance in life. Exercise, reading, getting to know boys, church, friends, family, shopping... all fabulous parts of life, but when one becomes all-consuming, everything gets out of whack.

So yes - all in all, life is fantastic. I am still adjusting to having a purpose-less job and 'living for the weekend', or whatever that saying is. I am used to finding a sense of productivity in my daily routine - school, patient interactions, etc.  - but now, I am shifting to the mindset of anticipating life outside of daily routine. Oh the joys of the working world :)

Anywho. Perhaps all this extra time sitting around will give me more opportunities to blog? I certainly hope so :)

Cheers!
D.

sister.

As most of you know, my sister has Type 1. Which more or less means that she has to watch every single thing she eats. Crappy as a teenager.

She was diagnosed with diabetes about 3 years ago.... in the beginning it was overwhelming. Counting carbs, measuring food, drawing up insulin correctly to the 0.1 place, mixing insulin, it goes on and on. But we managed! We went to Mexico that January, equipped with measuring spoons and a whole suitcase of snacks, and managed to have a blast.

Fast forward to today, and I can't imagine life without her diabetes. She uses a pump, a nifty device that supplies her with a basal amount of insulin throughout the day, and a bolus amount with food. Most days I forgot about it entirely!

Unfortunately, auto-immune diseases, like Type 1, often go hand-in-hand with another. Yesterday we were told it's Celiacs disease. So now, not only does she have to be mindful of what she's eating, her limited choices have to be edited once again to be gluten-free. Awesome.

I can't believe what she's gone through - it must really, truly, suck. Finger poking, blood samples, IV's, scopes, eat this but not that, check sugar, read labels....  Yet she comes out of the Stollery thankful she can live a long life, that she doesn't have cancer, that she doesn't have to be admitted for weeks at time. And her experiences have planted the idea of becoming a counsellor.... a perfect fit for her personality.

Where does this maturity come from?? A month away from 18 and she is taking this in stride better than most people would.

In the beginning (and still at times!), I would wrestle with 'why her?' - she hates blood, loves to go out and socialize, and should be a care-free teenager. There are 3 siblings in our family - why does one kid get BOTH diseases?! Surely it could've been distributed a little more fairly....

I still don't know why she got a double-whammy. But she continues to handle it with such maturity and just the right amount of humor that I know she'll be OK.

D.

Hola!

Oh man... it has been months since I've last updated my blog! But it certainly hasn't been for lack of activity.

Once again, I'm living at home for the summer. I just finished the first semester of 3rd year... as in next year, I'll be taking 4th year classes - CRAZY! This semester has been the best term so far, both content and academic wise. I enjoyed all my classes, and noticed the bar to have been raised higher in terms of concept depth and scope. Classes included community health, advanced med/surg, and maternity.

But most importantly... Quito. I'm sure I sound like a broken record - Quito this, Spanish that, Ecuador here, CAMTA there... But I can't help myself! It was the most impacting, most life-changing experience. I can't even begin to re-tell every moment. Long story SUPER short: I'm planning to head back ASAP.

This is my first summer without taking spring classes, so work is beginning earlier. I'm starting a new office assistant position in a research building here in town, which I am excited for - but this unfortunately means I'll be leaving the senior's home by the end of this week....

PHEW. A catch-up in a nutshell!! Life has been so amazingly good as of late... I feel it would be shame to not journal it in some way!

More to come soon - I'm back!

D.

Exciting news!

Click through for some very exciting news! Go to: Dani in Quito, 2012

Cheers!
D.

happy new year!

I am officially a third-year nursing student - hallelujah!! It is so exciting to be half-way through... I feel accomplished, despite having two years remaining.

My classes seem to have grown in complexity as well. I am taking in Nursing Research, Family & Child, Caring for the Acutely Ill, and Healthy Populations. Many more layers to a patient's health and well-being will be introduced, and advanced conditions and diseases will be taught. Very exciting! It's nice to see the 100 and 200-level classes behind me.

And of course, the Ecuador trip is getting closer each day! I am beside myself in excitement. Donations are still being accepted, and the deadline is next sunday!! For information on donating, head to: Dani in Quito, 2012, my other blog.

The first week of classes are done, and now the work really begins!

Cheers,
D.