me me me.

My mode of transportation? A retro bike.

I think I am the coolest almost- nurse ever.

D.

ok, scratch that.

Ok, scratch out yesterday's feelings of anxiety and worry.

Today was a new day and with it came a renewed sense of peace.

I think I may overdoing it by constantly talking about it on here, but my job adds so much purpose/meaning to my day.

Today's shift was crammed full with baths, but I found a few minutes to participate in bean-bag toss with the rec. coordinator Sam. Her and a bunch of residents were tossing the sac into a board with various holes, each a different size and worth a different amount. Because standing and throwing a beanbag is rather simple for Sam and I, the residents invented new and improved versions of the game: Sam and I had to throw from underneath our legs, blindfolded, blindfolded + spun 5 times, from the back of the room, with our left hand, and from the 'plank' position on the floor. Towards the end they were chanting for us to throwing the sac while standing on our heads, but Sam and I drew the line at that. Bahaha.

It was such a hoot! We all had tears in our eyes as the tosses got more and more ridiculous. It was such a great activity. Who could've guessed how great this job would be?

D.

work work work.

Although I love work, I feel like the days of summer are slipping through my fingers.

All of a sudden it's June 21st and July begins next week. Then I turn 19, work some more, and viola! School appears.

Work drains a lot out of me physically, so when I get home I crash. And it's not like my social life is thriving either, which leads to some eventless days-off.

I have a terrible tendency to look for more to do, regardless of how busy I already am. I need to be occupied to keep my over-active mind in check or else I end up driving myself insane. Most times I'm a-ok - between reading and working, my mind is happily satisfied by the end of the day.

But right now I'm feeling a bit of that anxiety - working, reading, sleeping, repeat. What else is there to do?

Living at home can add to this anxiety. My family is fabulous, but I cherish my own space as well. The need for space gets me thinking about residence in fall and the amount of school work I will need to get through, which adds some anxiety. Not a lot, but some.

But then there is is the whole friend-making/making-myself-known-in-class situation that comes along with school. Social situations top the charts when it comes to stress. I don't know why, but the idea of meeting new people can really freak me out. I still do it, but it takes a lot of self-persuasion to put myself out there.

Phew. It sounds like I'm a nervous wreck, doesn't it? I'm already thinking ahead to September, which is a whole 2 months away and stressing about things way ahead of time. I need to just relax and stop worrying about things until the moment arrives. Easier said than done, right?

Despite how I may feel, working with seniors brightens my day. One way or another, I always leave my shift feeling better about myself, and encouraged in what I do. I really don't know if I could keep myself busy any other way!

D.

blessings.

Tonight I realized that I love my job. Nothing has ever felt so rewarding as caring for these folks. I learn something about life during every shift and I am always astounded by the wisdom of seniors.

The other day I was chatting with a resident who happens to be my old neighbor. We were talking about how she remembers me as a child, over 10 years ago. We laughed over the fact that it took us until now to get to know each other - we had lived mere steps away for over a decade! I enjoy being in her company - visiting her on my rounds has become a highlight of my day.

Recently she celebrated her 94th birthday. I told her I was in awe with her age and how much life she has experienced. After reflecting on my comment for a moment, she admitted that her life went by too fast, and that it's hard to grasp that everything is coming to a close. Her honesty and blunt statement really hit me. Although she ages physically, her mind hasn't slowed a beat. So with bittersweet acceptance, she acknowledges her truth.

When I'm 94, will I be able to do the same? Will I look back and wonder, "Could I have done more with life?" Or will I be content with everything I have done? Will I be able to accept the end when it is near? Her reflection draws the concept of life into a personal reality. When I look back, how will I want to remember my life?

I feel as if I receive more than I give. The quick conversations, the tidbits of truth, the life reflections - these are all moments of wisdom I am so blessed to receive.

My perception of the elderly has changed enormously. What is more unexpected is how my perception of life is changing too. For being a factual/scientific/by-the-books sorta person, I'm amazed at how much purpose I find in something that is entirely out of my mold.

What an unexpected blessing!

Cheers!

weekend.

This past weekend I hung out with my group of friends from high school. It has been a while since we've all gotten together, but it has always been a blast.

Maybe it was just me, but this time seemed different. It has been a year since we've graduated and taken up our different paths. Maybe it is because we aren't together everyday that has weakened feeling of closeness between us. Then again, I've always struggled with friendships. I am often disappointed when the effort it takes me to open up and build relationships or just be in a social situation goes unnoticed. I suppose that this is just the introverted part of me that really shows in these cases. Either way, our get-together left me feeling quite agitated and distant.

I'm hoping it was just a bad day for everyone, or an "off" time together. I'm still rooting for these high school friends.

D.

my job.

Apparently, a few items were left off my job description. Leading group exercises was one of them.

I have been recruited as the next exercise-group leader at DP. Although a lady in the group knows the entire routine off by heart, I am expected to lead all the motions while counting out loud, sitting in the lead spot, where everyone can see me.

Participating isn't too hard. But the counting out loud part is tough - I get the # of reps mixed up and end up stressing the wrong number when I think it's the last rep.

Exercises for old folks are based on fluid, slow movements. However, not everyone can move smoothly or keep a rhythm. So, while one lady is moving her arm to the beat, another is moving the wrong arm to the beat, and yet another is moving her arm in a rapid, irregular motion. I don't know about you, but trying to keep a steady movement while watching many unsteady movements is very challenging.

The end result? The new girl looking like a total monkey while all the seniors show her up at bicep curls and leg lifts.

Cheers,

D.