renovations&beinghealthy

It amazes me how much I love jazz music. When I'm surfing around a radio station and I happen to hit the jazz channel, an overwhelming feeling of musical relief floods my senses. Right now happen to fancy piano jazz, some saxophone, and anything else in a 'mellow' mood - it fits well with the overcast days and noticeable drop in temperature.

The momster and I finally started to get my room done. In June, when I left for camp, I moved out completely. My sister took over my room downstairs, and a bed was temporarily put in the piano room for when I came home on weekends. But with the intention of being moving out for good, an actual bedroom was never left for me. Which leads me to the homeless state that I am now in. It's not as bad as I make it out to be, but it does get rather annoying sharing your room with a large piano, random unwanted decor, and stray dog hair. From where I reside now, the creepy neighbors can watch me through our wide front window, and the Fredster (the family pooch) can stick his head in whenever he pleases. I don't mind the dog coming in for a visit every now and then, but I can't be the target for our neighbors stalking habits much longer. My new room is going to be grand - I'm so excited. I'm painting 3 of the walls a cool blue/grey/steel color, and the single wall will be a dark dark blue/black color. I have some white furniture to add, as well as some rustic wooden shelves and whatnot. I think it'll look cool. I'm looking forward to a room of my own!

It's kinda sick how much junk food you can eat in a day, especially when you are not paying attention. I'm trying to really improve what I give my body, but I've been shocked how many times I've reached for something gross instead of something healthy. Like a pumpkin muffin for an am snack. Then after lunch. EW - who needs muffins twice? Sometimes I'd like to think I do, but honestly: I don't want to get sick of them - I like them too much! I've stayed away from them so far. It's kinda startling to realize that your natural inclination towards food strays to junk almost 90% of the time. I'm on a mission to revamp my food choices.

This weekend has really been fun. The little brother had three hockey games, which always promise a tense crowd and an action-packed game. Also, the sister invited a BOY over to the house! He likes her, and she likes him. But she made a smart move and invited him over for pizza and to watch one of Marshall's games. This way, before anything 'serious' happens, we can place a name to the face and actually meet him. The family calls him "Preston", although his real name is entirely unrelated. It was priceless to see him try to navigate through our weird family habits, adjust to his new nick name, and maintain a calm composure in front of Dad's physical stature. Turns out he is a great guy, and is so far worthy of my sister's company. He's a big sports bum, so I'm sure I will be the sidekick to many of Brooklyn's adventures from game to game. I'm so excited to be here for Brooklyn's first time in the potential 'dating' scene. Sometimes I think I'm more pumped to talk about him than she is! But she's a smart cookie - her and Preston do go swell together.

TTYL.

D.

life at home.

EEK. Sorry for the quiet week. I wish I could say that I've been busy, entirely engulfed in strenuous studies and attempting reach the top of an impressive academic program.

But I can't.

I've pretty much been doing nothing related to school. Or related to anything serious at all. Except for the two days I was job hunting. I was mightily successful, dont'cha know. I am now an employee at GAP, and a returning Barista at the ever-loved Starbucks. Clothes and coffee! From selling cardigans to whippin' up lattes : I should be a busy girl in no time! Although it will only be for two months, I'm stoked. It gives me cash to spend, cash to save, and something to do.

A mundane lifestyle around the house is swell, but not fulfilling by any means. Sure I enjoyed waking up at 11 am, lounging in my pj's all day, and watching TV online for a few days, but still. The sparkle of a new 'nothing' routine fades fast. I can't wait to go back to school, especially when I know it's the right choice.

Do I regret 'ma choice? NOPE. Not for a moment. I do miss a few little things, like the absolutely beauty of BC, the sense of adventure (although it faded fast!), my room mate, and.... I dunno what else, really. I miss learning, a lot, but that will have it's time here too. Creating a lifestyle that I love, and can grow with, is my goal now. Going to school closer to home is what I need. Family is the most important worldly thing to me. So that's staying in my life. So is education. I love learning. It will also be part of my life, whether that be continuing on after my degree, or teaching. Along with family and education comes a sustainable lifestyle - one that I can work with as I get older, move on, and adapt with. Things like financial security, physical & mental health, and spiritual fulfillment. That's an multi-dimensional aspect of my life I'm still working on, and probably always will be, but regardless: it will develop the best here. I'm confident I will be blessed in countless ways through this choice.

Sometimes I wonder why I love my family so much. Like seriously. I've only lived with my parents for 18+ years. Shouldn't I be sick of them already?!

The other day I was cleaning out my room-to-be, and I found an old cardboard box, in the hight shelf of a closet, full of old mementos and photographs from the youthful years of my folks. I uncovered various yellow-tinged photos of my Dad playing sports, and several old class photos of my Mom. But the neatest artifact I found was this horribly yellow scrapbook my Mom had made when she in her 20's. In this scrapbook, that was bulging at the seams, were countless souvenirs from her time spent dating my Dad. From a movie ticket representing their very first date - which was Starwars!! - to endless "Ziggy" themed cards, their entire time spent together can be followed from page to page. It was the greatest thing I've ever found in a closet. On a serious note though, it was astonishing to see that the love that my parents had for each other as young adults, in their crazy dating days, still hasn't vanished. Not a smidgen. So maybe that's why I can't get enough of my home, and what holds us tight. There is a love here that has never faltered, but has only matured, and gotten stronger with time.

As well as snooping through the dating memories of my folks, I've tried to polish up a few of my rather neglected skills. Like cleaning, for example. In preparation for repainting my room upstairs, I vacuumed, dusted, and washed the walls. Which is insane, seeing how I have never cleaned that much in my life. But I'm doing good - I only missed a dust bunny or two, and no one checks behind the door for cat hair anyways.

I've also started to bake. Today I successfully made two delightfully-scrumptious batches of peanut butter cookies. MAN OH MAN. I can make a mean peanut butter cookie. The upside of learning to bake is that you can add a talent to your resume of important life skills. The downside is you have to clean. And often your waist line will expand to accommodate the extra taste-testing. BUT, I have yet to rule out that it is a bad deal! I hope to expand my talent reservoir to include sugar cookies, shortbread cookies, and oatmeal cookies. YUM!

With all of this being said, I'm eager to learn new skills at home - things they can't teach you at school. Like how to paint a room, move a bed up a flight of stairs, and drive through blustering snow in the dead of winter.

BUT MOST OF ALL, I can't wait to get back to school. Please please please let January come fast!

PEACE OUTTTTT.

D.

happy job hunting day!

Man, the home life is good.

I've missed the simple luxurious of life during the mere time I've been away. Things like soft mattresses. Jumping onto a couch. A pantry. It's peaceful to know you've made the right choice.

But I am missing class! My mind is a little restless w/o 984958853480 bio terms to memorize!

Today is the day I find myself a job. Another blessing in disguise is that most retail businesses are looking for seasonal help, so finding a temporary job should be easier than other times in the year.

Prospects do not include any waitressing jobs, seeing how I can barely feed myself without placing some kind of stain on my clothing. Also, I have zero tolerance to withstand 'hey you, get me my drink!' UGH. My blood pressure is rising just imagining it.

My mom thought I should work for Toys R Us. Oh yes mom - crying babies and screaming children. What could I like more?!

Chapters is the main stop for the day. What a better way to spend my day (and my $$) than working in a store full of books?! Starbucks is still up there too - I do have a job, yet the full hours I'm looking for are not guaranteed. But wait... imagine a combo of both?! Chapter and Starbucks - endless coffee and a really good book! WHOA. Perfect combo.

On another note - thanks to everyone who reads this! I found out a few days ago that I've had some followers since the very beginning, keeping up to date on my zany life. It means a lot to me that you are taking the time out of your day, whether it be your coffee break or scheduled 'internet-surfing' break. I appreciate your following, and I hope I can always meet your expectations of a good read.

Love Always, D.

change.

Change is a funny thing.

It's one of those things that starts as a nagging idea. A thought that has value, leverage, and possibility. So you follow it. It leads to one thing, that leads to the next. Down a few rabbit holes and through a few open doors. 'Till BAM - it might work! Then your stuck with the final hurdle. You ask yourself, honestly - Do I really want change?

Then you deal with your head. Yes. No. Yes. No. Why I am thinking of such crazy things? Yet, why can't I stop?

For me, the answer was an undeniable yes. In my heart it was always yes, yet battling through emotions and frustration was exhausting. But worth it. Although, had I continued on without change, the end would have been inevitable regardless. Either I change now, get financially reimbursed, and switch seamlessly to a new institution, or I switch next semester but find myself forced to work until next fall to payback unused student loads and then accumulate a deposit for residence. Regardless, my journey doesn't remain here for much longer. This is not bad thing! I totally take what my dad says to heart : life is colorful mosaic - intricate fabrics that make a beautiful picture. Life changes, and life moves. It's all part of the adventure.

With any decision comes the + and - of both ends. The friendships I was beginning with a few girls were becoming valuable, which made leaving hard to break. The faith-based learning, which I have come to appreciate so much, will be deeply missed as well. Not to mention the community-atmosphere that keeps you distracted, and the beautiful weather to always boost your spirits.

TUW has a great environment - it's small, safe, and close-knit. But it just wasn't clicking. When I went home at Thanksgiving, I found out where my priorities lie. And what I've missed about myself since being out here. I haven't picked up a book in days, my running has been ignored, and I have found myself wondering who I am here - and where the 'me' I was back home went. I realized I was fine here, surviving, but not happy and thriving as I should be.

When change is right, it works. I don't believe that you get an idea in your head for nothing. The way things have fallen in place is a sign for me that I have made the right choice. The dates, the deadlines, finding boxes, and finding seat sales - everything fits. Another chapter of my life has ended, yet another one has begun. I sincerely believe this!

I am excited to get back to where I need to be. My adventure here has moved on, back home, to where I need to be. The nursing classes I've taken so far have been wonderful - I know for sure I will enjoy nursing, so I'm confident that will continue back in Edmonton.

God has a way of working things out. Despite how much I wish for a massive sign, a radical dream, or a loud-booming voice to direct my steps, he works in his own way. So, with this in mind, I'm fully ready for this change and can't wait to see where I will end up next!

Peace and love,

D.

wowwwwwweee.

Things work out amazingly. It's incredible.

Yesterday, I was utterly distraught. I've been feeling lately as if TWU isn't all I thought it would be - for various reasons. So I had a tough choice to make, and with lots of prayer, tears, and parental guidance, I decided to return to Etown and continue Nursing at Grant MacEwan.

And HOLY MOSES - things are falling into place. When I was presented with the choice, it was one day before the Withdrawal cut off: I got a 50% refund - and not a moment too late! Also, the Winter intake at GMU was still accepting applicants: from applying in Fall, I had already met the criteria, so this time should be a shoo-in. On top of all of this, a family from church is camping at a site 10 min away from my school - with a MASSIVE trailer. Through the connections of my BC friend Krista, they are taking my extra boxes and suitcase, saving hundreds of dollars from Greyhound shipping. How amazing is this? It keeps going: I have a job (more or less) at the Starbucks I previously worked at, and the money I earn working for a few weeks will pay off for an entire semester of residence - which, I might add, has the potential to be a bachelor pad. Oh yeah.

TWU was a neat experience - and BC is beautiful! I love it here. But right now, TW isn't for me. The Nursing program was fun, and gave me a good foundation to keep growing on. I will look back on my time here with fondness, but only as a stepping stone along the way of where I need to be. And my family is the biggest priority in my life. I love independence, yet there is something about being only a drive away from where I love to be most. With this in mind, I am so excited to continue my journey, my adventure, and to keep seeing where life will lead me.

Love, D.

ah, poop.

It feels like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

After coming home for Thanksgiving, it really hit me how much I miss home, and how uneasy I've been feeling lately. Sure, studying and stuff is going great, but I've always been anxious about missing out on things happening at home. For instance, my sister's band Christmas band concert. Or my brother's hockey games. When I say I miss it, I don't mean like a simple thought dashing through my head. I mean like hardcore, wanting-to-be-home- type deal. So what do I do?

The best nursing program in North America is in my backyard, more or less. It's a fraction of the price here, and way closer to home. It's unlikely that all of my courses would transfer over, which would mean that I would start over again in January, the winter intake. Poop.

This is the worst part. To resign from my classes here, and get 50% back, I have to let the important people know by Thursday, IE TOMORROW. No pressure.

This is my education, I need to be enjoying it. But can I say that I truly am? If I left, who would I be missing? So I've gained a few friends on Facebook - I honestly couldn't say if we would remain friends after this year.

Going home feels weak, like I couldn't stand being away. It's also disappointing to think that all the time, effort, and money my family and I have spent in getting myself here has been a let down.

I really need to sort this stuff out quickly, and then stand by my choice. But what should I choose?

oh dear.

I believe that it is pretty good timing that I'm going home for Thanksgiving. I have one razor left, and it's full of goop. Like, the sick kind you get when you shave over deodorant or body wash. I'm estimating I have 1/2 a shave job left in it... which I'm saving for tomorrow morning's pit job. Lovely. But hey, at least it's not shorts weather back home, right?

In today's HKIN (human kinetics) lab, we did Body Comp. It is the crasher of self esteems. For mine, anyways. I got told from two different charts that I was obese. I'm trying to remain calm about the absolute insanity we must follow in order to feel healthy. Last weight, during the Muscle lab, I scored 'high performance' for all the labs. This week, I'm obese. WTF.

But I have been thinking. I'm not fat. My gut doesn't hang over my pants, and my thighs don't thunder when I walk. I can see my toes, and I have no double chins. I can shop in regular clothing stores, and don't have to order special-size bras. But being healthy is important, and I can improve in so many ways. Just cause I look fine doesn't mean I necessarily am. My eating habits here are not exceptional, but then again, I'm a little too hard on myself with the whole dieting thing. Despite that, I believe it is time for an overhaul. As in, fitting in exercise regardless - and finding a way to maintain that for a more than a week. Also, snacking choice womp here. Actually, they rock - oatmeal cookies and pretzels make any tummy happy, but not the waist line. So I need to find good things to snack on. Like, nuts from home. Low fat yogurt. Fruit. Veggies. The usual. It's just a zillion time tougher here as you have to buy it at the store or consciously look for it in the Caf. But this has come to be something I need to do. I'm 'grown up' now, so I should start acting like it. I need to grow a backbone of self control and just do it. And I will. This is the beginning of my plan. But what the heck, I just made it public. I guess there's nothing a little accountability won't do for ya, eh?

Have a Happy Turkey Day weekend.

D.

dasherdancerprancervixen

I'm cutting to the chase: I am SO PUMPED FOR CHRISTMAS!

Via FB, I found that it is snowing outside my hometown. Holy craptacular, Batman - Christmas is coming! I know October may be a tad early to start watching for the jolly fat guy, but that doesn't mean I can't get totally pumped! I remember trick-or-treating dressed us as a bunny, with my entire snowsuit underneath my costume, and looking down my street as it was a total white-out from snow. I haven't seen too many Halloweens like that since, but one can always hope, right?!

I get such a thrill from giving presents - from getting the 'perfect' one. SO much fun. I have already started my collection. Buying a few odds and ends at random places really starts to add up after a while.

Christmas music has to be the cherry on top of the seasonal celebrations. Bing Crosby, Kenny G, Louis Armstrong - some of my favorite Christmas crooners. Good old fogies singing the blues, Christmas style, is the sure to way to bring in Christmas spirit.

Oh shucks, now I'm all excited. Outside here, it's sunny, and ridiculously green. No sign of white fluff yet. Perhaps this weekend it'll snow a bit, while I'm at home. That'd be nice. Then, I can blast Christmas tunes as loud as want, and dance around like a crazy person. But again, I think I should take on one holiday at a time - I have a feeling that after Thanksgiving turkey & pumpkin pie, I won't be able to move, let alone dance around.

Cheers!

D.

mondaymonrningmondaymorning

YAY for Monday's. Not only does it mean the week will once again zoom by, but the adventure I am on is still truckin' along. My first midterm is today, in Psychology. I've made puuuurdy pink flash cards, and crammed every last bit of info I need onto them. They help a lot to organize information concisely, list on the relevant info, and make my life wonderfully content w/their color coded beauty. Biology's color will be green.

I can't say for sure what week it is here... I believe it's been about 5 weeks since I have left home. And, it seems to have gone by so fast. At a few points along the way, life seemed to crawl backwards, but now, I can barely keep up!! It is a good thing though - obviously I am kept busy, entertained, and loaded with homework.

I am so excited to go home this weekend: I'm sure my sister is more excited than even I am! I miss her way too much: I don't like being away while she's in high school, fighting off the boys, and working through her swamp of tenth grade homework. She's is way too adorable to be allowed in public, especially without me. I am her big sister after all. It's odd how I can still picture us two, as little munchkins, running around with our Beanie Babies, all pudgy-checked w/baby fat. I remember playing outside in the frigid temperatures of our winter, bundled head to toe with bulbous snow gear, with Pops, as he pulled as around in the sled by the light of the street lamp. I have so many memories of just being a kid: and they are so good. I miss it sometimes. I lied - actually, I miss it a lot. I would give pretty much anything to just run around outside, building tree forts, and playing 'Farm' with the other neighborhood kids. I know that time moves on, and it doesn't stop. It never will. But I think it would be priceless to return to my kid-hood for just a day, or even just an hour.

D.

oh man, oh man.

It hasn't even been twelve hours since I've given up FB.

For the time being, it is.

I HATE IT. This morning, after revving up my good 'ol Mac, I just typed in facebook.com and pressed GO before I even knew what I was going. Thank goodness it doesn't automatically log me on. Gr.

But I'm looking forward to what I'll be doing with my free time. Maybe finish my book? I'm working on a book called The Birthouse, about midwifery in the old days. Get caught up on Heros? I'm need to get through season 3. Or, maybe just sleep! Although I pretty much have a 4-day class week, waking up before the sun and hitting the hay after it sets isn't good in the long term. But it's been so worth it.

Now, I don't what I'll do in class... perhaps actually pay attention? No more FB checks mid-lecture? Oh dear.

D.