^{"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."}

Philippians 4:6

The Message

I'm such a stressed out nut right now. UGH. I feel constantly tormented by stupid 'what ifs' and backwards thoughts. My perspective is wacked, and whenever I'm faced with challenging situations, I feel like running away. This whole 'waiting' thing is retarded, and it doesn't play up on my best traits. Instead, it just stalks me from the back of my mind, always there.

But I've realized lately that my life-managing-skills are lacking in several areas, including how to deal with things beyond my control. I'm a control freak, demand things to be on time/right way. So when things need patience, and just simple faith, I start to freak out a bit. I ignore any rational approach to calm my mind, and just end up getting all worked up.

Having faith, and giving my worries to God is something I need to consciously work at. It sounds so fluffy and airy to think that He can take all my worries and anxieties, and restore peace. But it's a lot harder than it sounds. I'm ready to work on it, especially seeing how these short weeks I've spent waiting for admission will be a mere blink in no time at all.

Hopefully, when all of this is said and done, I'll be able to look back and say 'Ya, that was a challenging time in my life, but I got through it, and learned more about myself and God in the process'.

For now, it's still a day at a time, and always working toward what I know I love. Cause everything will work out. It always does.

Dani.