a good day!

[ This is from last Thursday! Sorry for the delay - it took me a few days to finish in the midst of homework. ]

The best day of my life as a student - ever!

First things first. If you would have spoken to me within the last few days, or have been following my blog, you would know that I've been a tad homesick. Not the crying-weepy kind, but the discouraged, what-am-I-doing, a few hot tears, kind of homesick. More like a feeling of insignificance, simply longing for a reason to be here.

So this morning, my momma sent me a text, telling me to check my email 'cause there was something cool in my inbox. During my Nursing Research & Theories lecture, my mom had sent me the online receipt of a ticket home for Thanksgiving. I couldn't believe it - I was sitting in the midst of a non-desrcript lecture, fighting back tears and a massive grin for about 5 minutes, trying to take notes all the while. But I felt kinda bad - my parents had given me this opportunity to go home, yet my brief visit would've been plagued with the fact that I had to leave, yet again. So I mulled it over, and considered staying here, just in case seeing my fam-jam made it harder to return.

(Obviously there is more to this story!)

Then, later this afternoon, during a nursing lab, everything came together. Finally.

Our lab was on a basic/general physical assessment, followed by the evaluation of gastrointestinal (stomach) sounds, and then bedmaking. I moved through the motions, just doing what I do, when my instructor pulled me aside and asked if I had ever done this before, or was from a line of nurses. I was like, uh - no, kinda frightened that I may have missed the sarcasm in her voice. (BTW - my lab instructor isn't the warmest of gals. She's been around the nursing industry for years, and knows how things are should be done - and expects them to done properly the entire time, students or professional.) Anyways. Turns out, she was impressed with me. She remarked on my efficiency, my ability to do the lab in the alloted time frame, and take control of the situation. Then, she told me that she would love to have me as her nurse when her time came. I was floored.

She picked up on a character trait that has been a curse, and a blessing, to me. As a kid, I was bossy - the Queen Bee. I was always the Teacher during games of 'School', and the Doctor when I played 'Hospital'. In high school, I tried to down play this quality, although it was impossible. It changed from bossiness to efficiency, and only grew with intensity during group assignments, presentations, and competitions. It has become a part of my character to such an extent that I don't even notice it anymore. It shows up in places that I am not even aware of, and surprises me more often than not. So, not only did I hear the confirmation I had been searching for, but she highlighted a trait of mine with a positive note. Now that I not only a student, but a name and a face to a professor, and one who gave me a feeling of success and potential, I finally feel at peace here. The words of one professor 'sealed the deal' for me. I know I am supposed to be here. I just needed a few words of encouragement, and a status of high expectation to fight for.

To me, her comment made a world a difference. I feel as if a massive burden has been lifted from my chest. If the post didn't make much sense, or the dots were too scattered to connect, just know that I am finally honestly, and genuinely joyful to be here. When I see my famjam in October, it will be a visit full of happiness and thankfulness - far away from any though of homesickness or regret. It gives me goosebumps to think how all of this came together on the last day of Add/Drop Classes week, and how everything always, always, comes together.

D.

Romans 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him."